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| Communication strategy - Two-way communication (Photo credit: @boetter) |
Conflicts are a common place in modern day to day living. When was the last time you had a conflict and what was your communication strategy to resolve it?
There are typical ways people react when they are in a conflict -read through the list while checking how many of these approaches you follow in handling conflict.
Strategy variations in handling conflicts are:
- Withdrawal
- Feeling sorry for yourself
- Blaming yourself
- Labeling yourself as a failure
- Labeling others
- Silent treatment
- Mind reading
- Shunning away from resolving the conflict
- Passing sarcastic remarks
- Attacking the other person at every opportunity
- Planning and setting a trap
- Complaining
- Gossiping about the person you are in conflict with
- Self-pity
- Depression
- Emotional outbursts
- Indulging in fear
- Open transparent two-way communication
The list can go on and on. Create your own list of behaviors that you use to cope with conflict.
If you look at the list above, you will see that most of the strategies for dealing with a conflict move away from communication even though communication is the key to resolving conflict.
Conflicts can be resolved through open communication. You have to think through a communication strategy before you attempt to resolve the conflict. The biggest dilemma you will experience is the million dollars question “Who will make the first move?” The greatest temptation is to postpone resolving the conflict and hope things will get better. Conflicts rarely solve itself and there are great benefits if you make the first move to resolve the conflict.
The benefits are the following:
- You will feel better because you are taking some action
- Further conflicts will not pile up over the current one
- You will have a great chance to diffuse the tension
- You will be able to maintain the relationship and perhaps even grow it
- You will get peace of mind
- You will be in the driver’s seat
Your communication strategy should always be to be the first one to take the step to resolve the conflict.
Even if you follow this one strategy you will end up resolving much more conflicts than others, and you will be at peace.
Look back at all the conflicts you have had and how many of them, you took charge to resolve the conflict?
Commit today that in all conflicts in the future you will make the first move to resolve them.
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