How many of us give sufficient time for ourselves. To be alone for a few hours and look back at life can have therapeutic effect. Otherwise, what happens is we react from one situation to another, with no time even to think. With email, cell phone, pagers, RSS, TV, Radio, Video Games, IM, and people to distract us and keep us engaged, we end up alienating ourselves.

We need to establish relationship with ourselves first before we can have meaningful relationship with others.

So, get to quiet place, be alone and say "Hello" to yourself. Do you recognize yourself? What have you become? Are you the same? Try it and share your experience with others
Why do people take short cuts? It is risky and dangerous. It is one thing to take short cuts on a key board and totally another thing to take short cuts in life. In fact, short cuts are very contextual in nature and may do harm or good depending on the nature of the situation.

In this age of instant gratification people treat their lives as if it was a key board. Parents use the control & shift key too often with their children leaving them confused and bewildered.

People use short cuts to enhance their relationships with others. They portray a false image of themselves and try to win admiration from people who matter to them. However, people see through the facade quickly and the end result is that they lose their respect as quickly as they won it.

It is very important to be aware when we can take short cuts and when we need to pay the price by our effort.
It is amazing how perseverance can dissolve obstacles and get things done. I just completed a task that I was postponing for quite a long time. It was unpleasent and I was avoiding it.

I was using other tasks as distractions or excuses to avoid this one. Today I set aside time, and returned back to the task when ever I was interrupted and determined not to leave the office till I completed it.

Looking back, it was not as bad as I imagined it to be. Most of the obstacles are in our minds and we create them.

What do you think?
Where does your self-esteem come from? For some people it comes from their title, for some from the organization they work for or for some the family or nation they belong to.

More your self-esteem is tied to some thing external, the more vulnerable you are. Self-esteem should come from a strong character base which springs from a stream of wholesome values. Self-esteem should be based more on one's own contribution in different areas of life, more than anything else.
How many of us get stuck in a rut. Some people are not even aware that they are in a rut. Even small steps towards new pathways can change our perspective and give us a breath of fresh air we all need ---

What steps ahve you taken to explore new frontiers? When did you last find a new way to drive to your office? When did you buy a new magazine you have never laid hands upon before? When did you eat in a totally new restaurant?
Whatever you start you need to follow through. This is one area I need improvement, especially when I start multiple things and finally get lost. I am exploring different ways to stay focused and will report here.

What are the techniques to stay focused? If you as a reader know special ways to stay focused, please do share.
What do you do when people lie to you? or tell you half-truths? In such cases it is very important to study facts and inquire completly. This is very important , especially, when other people are involved.

It is one thing to trust and let go, it is a totally different thing to abdicate. Sometimes I trust people too much and take it as a given that they are performing and all is well with them and who they are serving. Many a times I interpret no news as good news. I think this approach to leadership is very dangerous. Trust but verify from all quarters---
If you want to change a habit, you must also examine an ecology of other habits feeding into or supporting/hindering the one you want to change. For example-not exercising may be linked to watching TV, getting up late, sleeping late, overeating, no true recreation --- the list could go on.

Eliciting these interlinked habits and creating a new ecology will be needed to support the new habit in the long term. One cannot start too big nor can one start too small. What is important is addressing the key ones to bring about change.
When a husband and wife fights in front of everyone it is a sad spectacle to watch. The blame game that triggered this fight (misplaced air tickets) is perhaps the tip of the iceberg. It is very important to resolve conflicts in the real time rather than wait for it to accumulate.

In the absence of conflict resolution the dart board gets bigger and bigger along with the number of darts you have with you to use against each other.

I wonder how they will be feeling now, with continents seperating them, litterally and figuratively ---
Some people switch their behaviour depending on the type of person they meet. This is what I was observing in my colleague and thus gave him critique about it. This springs from an opportunistic leadership style.

Such people are rarely liked. They are abrasive with a lot of people they meet and selectively very nice to some. They use differential treatment to get along and progress in life. However, little do they realize that they cannot go too far.

However far they may go in life, in variably they will find themselves alone with no one to cheer and clap for them.
Today, I reacted to a behaviour from another person, totally, in a different manner, as I would have reacted to the same behaviour a year back. Perhaps, I changed the way I looked at the behaviour and forgot to tell the person who initiated it. This resulted in a lot of surprise and diasappointment for both of us. I heard comments like"This is not you"

I had to explain myself and try to talk myself out of the behaviour, which was not very effective.

What I learnt is that one needs to examine one's way of looking at various things periodically. All of us change, most of us, silently, and we often forget to communicate to other people around us. Communicating upront to people around us will save us all a lot of unpleasent surprises.
In throwing a dinner, as well as, in delivering in other areas of life, it is better to set low expectations or no expectations and deliver a very delightful experience rather than setting high expectations and delivering. Sometimes the expectations you intent to set may not be the ones formed in the minds of the recipient.

You may run into the danger of disappointing people because of the mismatch of what you set and what was formed in their minds
Habits are formed gradually---. A house gets disorganized gradually---. You get overweight gradually---. Eventhough this is the truth most of us want instant change. A positive change too happens gradually. How about daily, gradual approach to multiple, pre-determined change
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Life is a maze.Some barriers and pathways are set at your birth and some by your upbringing and circumstances. However, most of the pathways and barriers have been built by you, mostly unconsciously.

Every decision you make, small or large, builds pathways and/or barriers. You are now caught in the maze and it is up to you to find a way to where you want to be.
How happy are you with other's success? I think it is one of the key parameters that give you a clue to what kind of person you are.