Do you have secrets in your family?

A healthy family should be an open family. There should be high trust and willingness to share with no room for secrets. This is possible only if all the family members are mature and trustworthy.

It is important to build such families, consciously. Your family is an open family when your family members have nothing to hide from one another.

A couple marries, has children, and the family culture is formed by their actions. The culture can be from completely being open to being completely closed.

The key to openness in families lie in the willingness and the capability, of its family members, to resolve conflicts. It also depends on how emotions are handled, both from the giving and receiving end. If anger is the main currency of emotion in the family, it becomes very difficult for people to open up.

I have seen many families. Some of them are completely closed. These families seem to do well when things are normal. There is a sense of calm. This calm is very deceptive as there is simmering anger and mistrust among family members.

These families will break up when faced with jugular issues - such as property, business, expenditure, and other materialistic concerns.

I have also seen families that get into the storm of conflict, but because the family members trust each other, and are willing to go the mile to resolve the conflict, through openness, humbleness, forgiveness, and trust, they emerge victorious-stronger and more cohesive than ever before.

What about your family? Do you have secrets from your trusted family members; It is time to examine them.

It requires a lot of intra-personal work to become a person with no secrets.

What is your experience? Do share your thoughts here!
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17 steps to live a life congruent to your wholesome values

It is very important to have all our actions congruent to our wholesome values. One of the best ways to ensure that your actions and values are aligned and congruent is to introspect and take action.

Here are a few steps to do them:

• Find yourself a free time-say about an hour
• Seclude yourself-you need to be alone for this exercise
• Look back at your life, as it is, currently happening.
• Ask yourself this question-Am I doing anything that is against my value system?
• List them down at random on a pad or in your PDA memo
• If you have more than two violations then you need to prioritize them
• Prioritize them by the biggest violation
• Select the biggest violation
• Decide to get rid of this behavior that violates your deep seated, principle based values
• Assess the impact of getting rid of the behaviour
• Give yourself a timeline to get rid of this behaviour
• Check out whether you can get rid of this behaviour on your own or you need help
• Reach out to your family members or close friends (if you are comfortable doing so) and take their support and help. This may require you opening up to them.
• Determine action steps to get rid of the behaviour
• Get rid of the behavior
• Reward yourself
• Continue this exercise till you have eliminated every non aligned behaviour

Try this out. It can have tremendous impact on your self-esteem. It will boost your self-esteem sky high. It will also relieve a lot of stress in the long run

Living a congruent life is foundational to living a life of joy and happiness.

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Do you have important information at your finger tips?

There are times when you need information at your finger tips. Hence it is important to classify all the information you need on a day to day, week to week, or month to month basis and constantly record and update them so that you can retrieve them in less than 2 minutes time.

Here are some key steps to achieve that:

1. Identify and make a list of information you will require
2. In the first month it will be better to make up an initial list and add to it as you go by-examples: Your bank address, your credit card payment information, your bank balance, your dues, telephone numbers, frequent flier number---
3. Decide where you will record them-PDA, cell phone, small pad ---
4. Update constantly

Try these strategies and you will never be at loss for want of an information.

What is your experience? Do share your thoughts here!

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