Do you send people to the "School of Hard Knocks"?

When a person consistently commits errors or exhibits attitudinal tantrums, or is disloyal to you and betrays you, what do you do with him/her?

It is very important to know your options and also to know how and when to use the various options. It is also important to understand which options are dysfunctional and should be avoided totally.

Let's examine the various options you have:

1. Plot to teach him/her a lesson
2. Pick up a fight
3. Critique
4. Send him/her to the "School of Hard Knocks"

Plotting against the person and finding ways and means to fix him/her, in such a manner that he/she will be shocked into learning a lesson, is a very dysfunctional approach. The pitfalls in this approach is that your plan may misfire or the lesson they will pick up will be the wrong one and, over and above all this, it could damage relationship permanently.

In this approach, you are playing games and this can trigger the other person responding in a similar fashion.

Picking up a fight, again is dysfunctional, as it may not achieve what you want and may worsen the situation.

The choice between the options critique (the best option) and the "School of hard knocks" depends on the situation, context and the amount of trust between you and the person involved.

You can use critique, if trust levels are high or after you build trust levels high enough;Here you will openly discuss about the dysfunctional behaviour and its impact on you and others and will negotiate an appropriate action plan with the person to help him/her avoid such a behaviour in the future; This is a problem solving approach.

What if, after all your interventions, the person still continues to err or he/she doesn't care enough to make an effort to change or he/she has character flaws and is duplicitous and opportunistic?

In such a situation you need to take steps to protect yourself/your colleagues/co workers/team members/ family/organization or anyone the person's behaviour may impact negatively; You can let go (for the time being?) and send him/her to the "School of Hard Knocks"

School of Hard Knocks is the most painful school in the world; This is where "students" are punished;This is where "students" go to suffer and learn, through experiences they have brought onto themselves, by the consequences of their behaviour. Experience is the best teacher and hopefully, they will learn.

While they are in the School of Hard knocks, you may choose to ease their pain, because you are compassionate, by being there for them or chose to completely ignore them.

The choice is, always, yours!