How to get the results you want in life?

Do you know that you are a product of the zillion decisions and actions you have taken?

You might have taken many of these decisions yourself or others may have taken them for you.

The way you see the world impacts the way you interpret what you see-many a times, people around you help you to interpret what you see-the right way or the wrong way.

Your interpretation will influence the decisions -right or wrong for you.

Your decisions will influence your actions-that bring you the right results or get you the wrong results

So where do you take control?

You can see in the figure above, where you can take control.

Taking control must begin with the way you see things and this will change the the entire cycle and get you the results you want in life.

Here are a few tips for you:

• Take a result (Example- like being over weight)
• Examine how you see this result
• Examine how you interpret it and link the interpretation to the way you see the problem
• Examine your decisions that flow out of your interpretations
• Examine your actions and how they connect with your decisions
• Examine the results and how they are linked to your actions
• Now, determine the new result you want in life (Example- weight loss of 20 kg)
• Work your way down the cycle

You will be amazed at the results you get in life, if you follow this approach.

How do you save your ideas?

Good ideas are difficult to come by. Moreover, you may get an idea and hope that you will remember to note it down somewhere for future use.

Let me give you some tips to save your ideas for future reference and action.

Tips:

• Send an email to yourself about the idea-Gmail is a good storage place
• Talk into a voice recorder-buy a good one that is easy to carry and use
• Talk to your spouse about your idea
• Send a short text message to yourself about the idea
• Carry a small idea note book and jot it down there

These are just a few tips. The best way for you is the way you will be most comfortable with.

At least have three alternative approaches to make sure you don't lose an idea

What did you do today to save our planet?

Do you allow dirt to accumulate in your mind?

Invariably, you are exposed to dirt, pollution, grease, and germs everyday. You handle this by cleaning yourself daily-you shower, shampoo your hair, brush your teeth,---.

How about the dirt and pollution that accumulates in your mind? Do you clean them?

Here are some sources that may dirty and pollute your mind:

• Advertisements
• News you read
• Internet surfing
• Books you read
• TV-soap operas
• FM radio
• Some of your friends
• Conversations you overhear
• Movies you watch
• Your own thoughts

I am sure you can come up with a personalized list.

When you make a list like the one above and examine it, you will realize how easily your mind can become greasy, dirty and polluted. It is difficult to function effectively with a greasy and polluted mind- it will slow you down.

Awareness of the dirt accumulation is the first step to cleanliness.

Stay tuned for another post on how to keep your mind clean-spic and span.

How well do you climb your mountains?

When you reach a mountain top, you always have another to climb.
Find your mountains and climb them.
Only you can recognize your mountains!

Choose to be different from your environment!

What can you learn from video games?

I had a long weekend. In addition to the festivities related activities that took my time, I also spent a size able amount of time playing Smash Court Tennis on my daughter's Sony PSP.

Initially, I found the game difficult as I had to master new skills; Game after game, I lost to the opponents; Slowly, I began to improve and win. Initially, they were small wins, but later I started winning tournaments in the video game. I cannot begin to describe the thrill when I finally got to learn the skills to win matches.

Life is exactly like that. I immediately saw video games as medium to teach values such as perseverance, patience, resilience, staying calm even when there is a failure,--- the list can go on.

Video games are a good metaphor to teach children and also adults, wholesome values.

I feel the key is to point out the connection and provide guidance in transferring those values to real life.

What new experience have you pursued today?

It is easy to live life the same way as you have lived all these years. We go to the same restaurants, read the same type of books, listen to the kind of music, hang around with the same type of people,---, the list can go on and on.

Is it a shame to live life in the same manner every day? No! not necessarily, however you may be missing opportunities to have new experiences that you may really enjoy.

How do you get out of this habit?

Here are a few tips:

• Ask your self this question at least once a week to begin with, 'What new experiences can I pursue this coming week?' Friday is a good day to ask this question because you then have a weekend to try it out.
• Be bold
• Seek experiences in areas you would never even dream of.
• Start small
• Have a goal of having a new experience at least twice in a month
• Take the help of others. Do things others are doing that you have never done before
• Hang out with children for new ideas
• Plan together with your spouse and have new experiences together

Try these tips. Your life will never be the same again.

Are you responsible for the rut you are in?

There are two ways to live your life, day by day. One is by getting into routines which have set in, with or without your awareness., The other by careful inclusion of those activities that tap your talents and enrich your life.

If you are alert you will weed out the routines in your life that are dysfunctional.

Here are some examples of routines that are dysfunctional:

• Reading email through out the day without doing productive work
• Surfing the Internet aimlessly
• Visiting sites that you should not be visiting
• Doing things that are the loudest and the latest
• Water cooler conversations that go on for hours
• Getting through the day without planning
• Doing things just to get by and get through the day

These are just a few examples. You can make your own customized list. I can bet that if you have not weeded out your routines, you will have a long list.

Weed the useless routines that have accumulated, and substitute them with life enriching activities.

Do you change your decision too quickly?

When was the last time you changed your decision based on somebody Else's suggestion or point of view?

Did you get into trouble because of the change in your decision?

It is time to stop this habit. While respecting others point of view is important, you should not forget to respect your own point of view.

Change your decision only if you find others suggestion superior to yours.

However, this evaluation process while changing a decision, is not easy.

Here are a few tips for you:

• Pause
• Think and weigh
• Check whether the suggestion matches your values
• Clarify all your values as a pre-work or pre-decisions exercise
• Have confidence in your ability to make correct decisions
• Remind yourself always that only you know your entire context and situation
• Look back at your decisions and learn
• Avoid making the same wrong decision again and again

Use these tips and you will breathe easy and live a stress free life.

How much can you prepare for a surprise?

Surprises come to us suddenly; That is why they are called surprises. Some of the surprises are pleasant and welcome, we love them. However, there are many that come and disrupt our lives.

While we cannot anticipate every surprise that could come to us, we can very well prepare for them. Preparation for a surprise will have to be, more at a generic level unless we can anticipate some specific surprises that could come to us.

Here are some tips:

• Keep fit-exercise daily
• Eat nutritious food
• Continuously nurture your bank balance
• Study
• Get yourself multi-skilled
• Have strong relationships-spouse, children---
• Nurture your network
• Anticipate, as much as possible, different scenarios
• Always have contingency plans-plan A, plan B, Plan C---
• Meditate and pray daily

Try them out!

Enjoy nature and get inspired!

This is a photograph I took with my Nikon D 80 Digital SLR camera.

There are a lot of parrots around our house. There are times when they fly into our house through our open window. These birds are fun to watch. They are full of energy, love to fly, hang upside down, and love to play together.

How to change your lifestyle?

Do you take care of your communication based on the context?

We as a family decided to curb our spending, for a while. We were going overboard, spending on all kinds of stuff, as all of us like shopping.

Yesterday, my wife asked me to withdraw some money from the ATM while I was coming home from work. I asked her, "Why should we withdraw money again?" I asked that question because I had sufficient cash in my purse and was wondering why we need to make a trip to the ATM.

However, my wife was upset as the question was filtered through the context of our decision not to overspend!

Since our family resolves conflicts immediately because of openness and transparency, the misunderstanding was resolved.

Is the context in which you are communicating colouring your communication?

Be always aware of the context and its impact on what you say. It can save you from a lot of misunderstanding.

Are you the main obstacle in your life?

Do you stop yourself from trying to do something new just because you do not know how to do it?

It is time to take action. Depending on the nature of the stuff you want to try out, you will have to decide whether you need a person who can teach you or whether you can learn it yourself.

This is the first decision that will move you to learn and try something out.

It is important that you take that step because you never know there may be a "Picasso" or an "Agatha Christie" waiting to be awakened in you!

Do you push too hard to teach someone something?

You can teach people only when they are ready to learn. No matter how much you try, unless they realize within themselves the need to learn, they will not be receptive.

This is true for your colleagues, friends, relatives, children and your spouse; This is true even for you!

The need for learning comes from either desire or pain; Both of these are internal processes.

Every desire or pain has to reach a certain threshold before which you can even pay appropriate attention to it.

The great secret is that these threshold levels vary from person to person.

There are people with low threshold levels who take immediate action; There are also people with high threshold levels who wait for, what seems eternity, before they even begin to take notice and act. People with high threshold levels act sometimes too late. They end up missing opportunities to learn and thrive.

Be aware of the threshold levels in you and others. Seize immediate opportunity to learn or teach when you or others cross the threshold levels. Awareness is the key!

What is the connection of pain and preparation?

The first time the dentist extracted her two teeth, upper and lower, to prepare her for orthodontic braces, she screamed with pain. Two weeks later, she went again for the extraction of two other teeth and she screamed far lesser, as the pain she felt was relatively lesser.

What the dentist told me set me thinking deeply. He said," Last time she was scared as she didn't know what will happen. Today she was prepared and so was I."

Most of the time we fear the unknown; We panic and magnify our pain. Moreover, we are that much less prepared to deal with the pain.

Once we have gone that route that causes us pain, we are less afraid, as we are more prepared and hence we hurt much less than the first time.

How about preparing consciously for an anticipated painful experience?

Many a times life brings us face to face with situations and people who bring us pain again and again. The more prepared we are, the less hurt we will feel.

Be prepared for life's recurring hurts so that you hurt less and less.

Think! Try! Do!

When was the last time you did something that made you stand out?

It is easy to follow the pack. It is easy to do a slip shod job. It is easy to be a run-of-a-mill person.

It is difficult to stand out; That's what I thought!

I was made aware of a secret today.

It is easy to stand out!

All you need to do is look around and do something nobody has done before or do something differently to others.

How about consciously seeking opportunities to stand out by doing new things or by doing things differently?

You will be surprised how quickly you will be noticed. You will also be surprised how quickly your popularity spreads.

Try it! You will never regret it!

What do you do with people who have let you down?

There is a limit to tolerance of people who have let you down. There are some leaders who continue to correct them and nurture them; But for how long?

It is important to realize that the person is either not willing to change or incapable of changing or perhaps, both.

The sooner we realize this and stop depending on them the quicker we will take corrective measures and prevent a lot of problems that stem from their poor attitude and incompetence

Be kind to your self and stop taking misery generated by others!

Get these people out of your life!

How to provide opportunities to interact with people who are important to you?

In our busy lives many of us get isolated. We tend to interact with some people more than others.

It may be because of the circumstances we are in right now or it may be out of pure chance; Whatever the reason, if we continue on this path we will loose touch with people who are important to us and they will grow apart from us; This more often happens with our near and dear ones.

Let me pose some questions to you:

How much time do you spend with your children?

How much time do you spend with your spouse?

How much time do you spend with your parents?

You could ask this question with respect to your other important relationships as well.
Here are the few steps you can take to turn the situation around:

• Ask the question frequently with respect to the quality and quantity of time you spend with people, important to you, to determine the deficits


• Acknowledge the deficits yourself and be aware of it


• Communicate to the person about the deficit


• Plan mutual activities together


• Choose activities that will promote being together and talking to each other
  
• Plan and block time on your calendar for the person you have chosen


• Do not plan to do something too far away in time


• Spend time together-enjoy

You will be surprised of joy you get out of such planning and action

Enjoy!