Do you allow dirt to accumulate in your mind?

Invariably, you are exposed to dirt, pollution, grease, and germs everyday. You handle this by cleaning yourself daily-you shower, shampoo your hair, brush your teeth,---.

How about the dirt and pollution that accumulates in your mind? Do you clean them?

Here are some sources that may dirty and pollute your mind:

• Advertisements
• News you read
• Internet surfing
• Books you read
• TV-soap operas
• FM radio
• Some of your friends
• Conversations you overhear
• Movies you watch
• Your own thoughts

I am sure you can come up with a personalized list.

When you make a list like the one above and examine it, you will realize how easily your mind can become greasy, dirty and polluted. It is difficult to function effectively with a greasy and polluted mind- it will slow you down.

Awareness of the dirt accumulation is the first step to cleanliness.

Stay tuned for another post on how to keep your mind clean-spic and span.

How well do you climb your mountains?

When you reach a mountain top, you always have another to climb.
Find your mountains and climb them.
Only you can recognize your mountains!

Choose to be different from your environment!

What can you learn from video games?

I had a long weekend. In addition to the festivities related activities that took my time, I also spent a size able amount of time playing Smash Court Tennis on my daughter's Sony PSP.

Initially, I found the game difficult as I had to master new skills; Game after game, I lost to the opponents; Slowly, I began to improve and win. Initially, they were small wins, but later I started winning tournaments in the video game. I cannot begin to describe the thrill when I finally got to learn the skills to win matches.

Life is exactly like that. I immediately saw video games as medium to teach values such as perseverance, patience, resilience, staying calm even when there is a failure,--- the list can go on.

Video games are a good metaphor to teach children and also adults, wholesome values.

I feel the key is to point out the connection and provide guidance in transferring those values to real life.

What new experience have you pursued today?

It is easy to live life the same way as you have lived all these years. We go to the same restaurants, read the same type of books, listen to the kind of music, hang around with the same type of people,---, the list can go on and on.

Is it a shame to live life in the same manner every day? No! not necessarily, however you may be missing opportunities to have new experiences that you may really enjoy.

How do you get out of this habit?

Here are a few tips:

• Ask your self this question at least once a week to begin with, 'What new experiences can I pursue this coming week?' Friday is a good day to ask this question because you then have a weekend to try it out.
• Be bold
• Seek experiences in areas you would never even dream of.
• Start small
• Have a goal of having a new experience at least twice in a month
• Take the help of others. Do things others are doing that you have never done before
• Hang out with children for new ideas
• Plan together with your spouse and have new experiences together

Try these tips. Your life will never be the same again.

Are you responsible for the rut you are in?

There are two ways to live your life, day by day. One is by getting into routines which have set in, with or without your awareness., The other by careful inclusion of those activities that tap your talents and enrich your life.

If you are alert you will weed out the routines in your life that are dysfunctional.

Here are some examples of routines that are dysfunctional:

• Reading email through out the day without doing productive work
• Surfing the Internet aimlessly
• Visiting sites that you should not be visiting
• Doing things that are the loudest and the latest
• Water cooler conversations that go on for hours
• Getting through the day without planning
• Doing things just to get by and get through the day

These are just a few examples. You can make your own customized list. I can bet that if you have not weeded out your routines, you will have a long list.

Weed the useless routines that have accumulated, and substitute them with life enriching activities.

Do you change your decision too quickly?

When was the last time you changed your decision based on somebody Else's suggestion or point of view?

Did you get into trouble because of the change in your decision?

It is time to stop this habit. While respecting others point of view is important, you should not forget to respect your own point of view.

Change your decision only if you find others suggestion superior to yours.

However, this evaluation process while changing a decision, is not easy.

Here are a few tips for you:

• Pause
• Think and weigh
• Check whether the suggestion matches your values
• Clarify all your values as a pre-work or pre-decisions exercise
• Have confidence in your ability to make correct decisions
• Remind yourself always that only you know your entire context and situation
• Look back at your decisions and learn
• Avoid making the same wrong decision again and again

Use these tips and you will breathe easy and live a stress free life.

How much can you prepare for a surprise?

Surprises come to us suddenly; That is why they are called surprises. Some of the surprises are pleasant and welcome, we love them. However, there are many that come and disrupt our lives.

While we cannot anticipate every surprise that could come to us, we can very well prepare for them. Preparation for a surprise will have to be, more at a generic level unless we can anticipate some specific surprises that could come to us.

Here are some tips:

• Keep fit-exercise daily
• Eat nutritious food
• Continuously nurture your bank balance
• Study
• Get yourself multi-skilled
• Have strong relationships-spouse, children---
• Nurture your network
• Anticipate, as much as possible, different scenarios
• Always have contingency plans-plan A, plan B, Plan C---
• Meditate and pray daily

Try them out!

Enjoy nature and get inspired!

This is a photograph I took with my Nikon D 80 Digital SLR camera.

There are a lot of parrots around our house. There are times when they fly into our house through our open window. These birds are fun to watch. They are full of energy, love to fly, hang upside down, and love to play together.

How to change your lifestyle?

Do you take care of your communication based on the context?

We as a family decided to curb our spending, for a while. We were going overboard, spending on all kinds of stuff, as all of us like shopping.

Yesterday, my wife asked me to withdraw some money from the ATM while I was coming home from work. I asked her, "Why should we withdraw money again?" I asked that question because I had sufficient cash in my purse and was wondering why we need to make a trip to the ATM.

However, my wife was upset as the question was filtered through the context of our decision not to overspend!

Since our family resolves conflicts immediately because of openness and transparency, the misunderstanding was resolved.

Is the context in which you are communicating colouring your communication?

Be always aware of the context and its impact on what you say. It can save you from a lot of misunderstanding.

Are you the main obstacle in your life?

Do you stop yourself from trying to do something new just because you do not know how to do it?

It is time to take action. Depending on the nature of the stuff you want to try out, you will have to decide whether you need a person who can teach you or whether you can learn it yourself.

This is the first decision that will move you to learn and try something out.

It is important that you take that step because you never know there may be a "Picasso" or an "Agatha Christie" waiting to be awakened in you!

Do you push too hard to teach someone something?

You can teach people only when they are ready to learn. No matter how much you try, unless they realize within themselves the need to learn, they will not be receptive.

This is true for your colleagues, friends, relatives, children and your spouse; This is true even for you!

The need for learning comes from either desire or pain; Both of these are internal processes.

Every desire or pain has to reach a certain threshold before which you can even pay appropriate attention to it.

The great secret is that these threshold levels vary from person to person.

There are people with low threshold levels who take immediate action; There are also people with high threshold levels who wait for, what seems eternity, before they even begin to take notice and act. People with high threshold levels act sometimes too late. They end up missing opportunities to learn and thrive.

Be aware of the threshold levels in you and others. Seize immediate opportunity to learn or teach when you or others cross the threshold levels. Awareness is the key!

What is the connection of pain and preparation?

The first time the dentist extracted her two teeth, upper and lower, to prepare her for orthodontic braces, she screamed with pain. Two weeks later, she went again for the extraction of two other teeth and she screamed far lesser, as the pain she felt was relatively lesser.

What the dentist told me set me thinking deeply. He said," Last time she was scared as she didn't know what will happen. Today she was prepared and so was I."

Most of the time we fear the unknown; We panic and magnify our pain. Moreover, we are that much less prepared to deal with the pain.

Once we have gone that route that causes us pain, we are less afraid, as we are more prepared and hence we hurt much less than the first time.

How about preparing consciously for an anticipated painful experience?

Many a times life brings us face to face with situations and people who bring us pain again and again. The more prepared we are, the less hurt we will feel.

Be prepared for life's recurring hurts so that you hurt less and less.

Think! Try! Do!

When was the last time you did something that made you stand out?

It is easy to follow the pack. It is easy to do a slip shod job. It is easy to be a run-of-a-mill person.

It is difficult to stand out; That's what I thought!

I was made aware of a secret today.

It is easy to stand out!

All you need to do is look around and do something nobody has done before or do something differently to others.

How about consciously seeking opportunities to stand out by doing new things or by doing things differently?

You will be surprised how quickly you will be noticed. You will also be surprised how quickly your popularity spreads.

Try it! You will never regret it!

What do you do with people who have let you down?

There is a limit to tolerance of people who have let you down. There are some leaders who continue to correct them and nurture them; But for how long?

It is important to realize that the person is either not willing to change or incapable of changing or perhaps, both.

The sooner we realize this and stop depending on them the quicker we will take corrective measures and prevent a lot of problems that stem from their poor attitude and incompetence

Be kind to your self and stop taking misery generated by others!

Get these people out of your life!

How to provide opportunities to interact with people who are important to you?

In our busy lives many of us get isolated. We tend to interact with some people more than others.

It may be because of the circumstances we are in right now or it may be out of pure chance; Whatever the reason, if we continue on this path we will loose touch with people who are important to us and they will grow apart from us; This more often happens with our near and dear ones.

Let me pose some questions to you:

How much time do you spend with your children?

How much time do you spend with your spouse?

How much time do you spend with your parents?

You could ask this question with respect to your other important relationships as well.
Here are the few steps you can take to turn the situation around:

• Ask the question frequently with respect to the quality and quantity of time you spend with people, important to you, to determine the deficits


• Acknowledge the deficits yourself and be aware of it


• Communicate to the person about the deficit


• Plan mutual activities together


• Choose activities that will promote being together and talking to each other
  
• Plan and block time on your calendar for the person you have chosen


• Do not plan to do something too far away in time


• Spend time together-enjoy

You will be surprised of joy you get out of such planning and action

Enjoy!

Balancing discipline and fun activities

As parents, in our attempt to mould our children to their best behaviour, we often go overboard; Months and perhaps years go by before we realize that we have overburdened our children with discipline.

Pause and take stock! When was the last time you joked around with your children?

Balance discipline with fun activities, you will find your children responding, positively, to both.

No trouble can last forever!

When I was a child, I used to play this strange game. Whenever I was in trouble, sad, or did not like the way things were, I would tell myself that every trouble has a beginning, a middle and an end; It has begun it will move to the middle and then taper off! All I have to do is just go through it!

Think about all your troubles! Didn't they end?

As adults we sometimes get so caught up with the mess and the pain we are in that we tend to think our condition will last for ever.

How untrue!

Remember this when you are brooding over some trouble that has been bothering you!

The formula:

Has begun ---- Will touch the middle ---- Will finally end!

Leaving anonymous comments! How cowardly can you get?

I find it difficult to accept any anonymous comment. In my world if you are not willing to put your name behind a comment or a stand you take, you are either not convinced with what you are saying or you are a person of deceit, who wants to hide behind a mask of anonymity.

It takes courage and conviction to say what you want to say and stand by it.

This happens in organizations too, where they institute an anonymous feedback. Such attempts only promote a closed culture and is very detrimental to organizations.

Do you periodically check how your loved ones feel about their lives?

Sometimes our near and dear ones are very good at masking their pain! Some may even mask their physical pain. No matter how alert we are ( In fact many of us are oblivious to others feelings) we can easily overlook and miss completely how others feel); Months go by and sometimes even years, and suddenly it is too late. The damage is done!

Some of the common damages are:

• Breakdown of relationship
• Loss of direction
• Loss of opportunities (especially for children)

These are only some of the outcomes.

How do we prevent this?
It is possible only by constant communication within the family. It begins with developing a culture of openly sharing the innermost feelings with others. It is reinforced by every attempt by every family member to listen deeply to one another!

Only if you are aware that your loved one is in pain can you even begin to help him or her!

Think about it! Notice and take actions before it it too late!

How to have peace of mind through integrity?

There are different ways to have peace of mind. One of the ways to have peace of mind is by being honest all the time; You then have no need to tell one lie to cover up another lie and keep track of all the lies you are juggling around with different people.

However, just being honest is not enough, you also need to match your actions to what you have promised to yourself or with others; You need to walk your talk always.

Walking the talk is not easy, as you are always tempted to do things that do not promote your integrity.
Examples:

• You promise yourself to get up at 6:00 am but you switch off the alarm and go to sleep
• You promise to do some errand to your spouse but procrastinate and do something else
• You decide to start exercising regularly, you even start doing it and then you give up

These are few examples of integrity depleting actions (IDA)

However if you keep your promise, then you will be doing integrity promoting actions (IPA).

Most of us have a huge collection of integrity depleting actions already and furthermore we add, day in day out, more integrity depleting actions thus creating a complete imbalance of IDA and IPA.

Just imagine a day full of IPA, a week full of IPA, a month full of IPA, A year full of IPA, a decade full of IPA and a life full of IPA!

Start small and start for small durations; Gradually expand and fill your hours with integrity promoting actions.

Try it out and your life will be filled with peace as long as your actions are aligned to wholesome principles and values.

Are you aware of the impact you have on others?

Whether we like it or not, we impact others, day in, day out. Most of the time the impact is either neutral or slightly positive, assuming that we are well adjusted human beings.

However there are days when we impact the people around us negatively; Especially our family members-spouse, children, brothers, sisters---.

Do your family members look forward to you coming home in the evening or do they shudder with fear or worry or anxiety?

How has it been lately?
Pay attention, you may be in for a surprise!

If in doubt, cut the relationship---

There are times in my life that despite several warning signals, I failed to cut a person off my life.
Sometimes the warning may have come to you in form of an intuition, or sometimes it may have come in form of some logical reasoning, but whatever the source of your warning, it is important to pause and take notice; Not to do so is to expose you and your family to great dangers and risk.

However, that doesn't mean that you go about cutting relationships at every first warning; What it means is to dwell sufficiently on that warning, take heed, and then verify in the real world.

Remember this, and it will save you a lot of trouble!

DO you take people for granted in your life?

In the initial stages of any relationship-professional or personal, we are careful and attentive to the needs of others. We may even anticipate them and fulfill them; Then something strange happens, familiarity breeds contempt.

You will find that you have unconsciously taken the relationship for granted. This will continue, until, for most of us, we get a wake up call; Alas by the time we wake up it is too late.

How do we prevent this?

Here are some important steps in this regard:

1. Look for opportunities you are missing with that person to fulfill her unspoken needs
2. Examine whether you have missed out on fulfilling some of her expressed needs
3. Look back and check what fun activities you were doing together which you have completely stopped
4. Anticipate her needs and make a list of them
5. Look at the points that emerge from first four steps and develop an action plan
6. Surprise her completely by doing something for her from the list you have drawn
7. Start slow and gradually increase pace

Try this and you will be more surprised than she will be.

How careful are you about your child's friends?

A professional colleague in Canada once told me that he was worried that his children are being raised by their classmates and friends. Children being raised by other children! To me, that was very scary.

I believe parents need to be in control, of the kind of friends, their children associate themselves with.

Many of us, as parents, are careful and have our watchful eyes on our children. We may even prevent or dissuade our children from associating with some of their friends. This fine in the actual physical world where we can see, hear, and then assess the impact of the friends our children mingle with.

However a large number of parents forget the Internet.
The greatest dangers are:

• email
• Chats
• Face book
• Orkut
• Other Internet interactions-Yahoo answers
• Groups
• You tube

The list can go on.

When was the last time you checked on your son's contacts in his email or the kind of chats your daughter is having with and with whom?

What about the face book? What kind of comments are being written on your child's wall?

Internet brings the world to your child.

No matter how careful you are in the actual physical world, the virtual world may destroy every effort you exercise to protect your child.

Check your child's internet activities. You may be surprised! There is also a good chance you may be shocked!

Time to take charge;Time to let go

To be in control of everything in your life constantly, is an illusion; So is to visualize everything in your life is out of control. What we need is balance.

There are times when it is possible to have some degree of control over large areas of life but there are also times when letting go is a wise thing to do.

This is important, especially in times of extreme shock coming from some life altering event. In those times we need to let go without feeling guilty while realizing that after an appropriate length in time we will regain the control back.

Knowing this important principle can save you from lot of grief.

Think about it!

When do your loved ones need you most?

When everything is going smooth, the need for your support is a given. Suddenly, something drastically goes wrong. Your nearest and dearest commits a grave mistake.

What do you do?

This is the time to reflect! This is the time to look and establish the goals of the relationship; This needs to be done despite the anger and the hatred that may be welling up in you; Because it is during these times your loved one needs you the most.

You need to get into the habit of looking at others mistakes with compassion.

Who knows? You may need it one day!

Worst possible outcome

How important is it to visualize periodically the worst possible outcome? I think it needs to be done. You can do it as long as it doesn't trigger anxiety, stress, and worry.

This has to be done from a point of view of contingency planning.

Though these scenarios rarely come true, the very fact that you have a contingency plan and escape route keeps you more confident.

Try it out in few areas of your life.

How to handle betrayal

How do you handle betrayal? Let's say your near and dear one, your children, your close extended family member, or your friend betrays you completely;Stabs you in the back; Has been stabbing you and cheating you for the past few years.


What do you do?


Suddenly you realize that person has been dual faced, slick, and cunning. He or she has planned this meticulously, put on a face of innocence, and lied and cheated right under your nose.

Suddenly you become aware of this and everything is out in the open. You are now faced with the following:

• Shock
• Pain
• Anger
• Denial
• Guilt (How did I contribute to this?)
• The dilemma-What next?

There are a few areas you need to focus immediately:

• Deciding what to do with the relationship-to keep or to cut off
• Being clear what your goal is with respect to this individual
• Confronting the individual who betrayed you
• Laying out what you want to achieve if the relationship has to continue
• Analysing together the context and situation that led to the acts of betrayal
• Setting up mutually agreed monitoring mechanisms
• Identifying consequences that would follow on violation

Even if you do this, the pain and the shock will not go away. The person who betrayed you need to take equal responsibility to ease your pain, more by demonstrating acts that build trust, rather than just talk.

Over the period of time, the pain may subside, but the memory of the betrayal will take a long time to fade away.

How to mess up consistently and completly?

The best way to mess up is not to pay attention. Stop tracking things.

Let me give you a nice list to start with:

• Your money in the bank
• Your expenses
• Your credit card spending
• Your weight
• Your friends
• Your family
• Your children
• Your parents
• Your boss
• Your resume
• Your health
• Your spiritual connection
• Your house
• Your commitments

The list can go on and on.

How many of the items in the list are you not keeping track? Are you messing up sufficiently?

Alas for many of us, we are good at messing up and would have said "yes" to most of the items on the list; And what is more alarming is that the list up there is incomplete.

Take an inventory, before it is too late.

Threshold of tolerance for change

Different people have different thresholds of tolerance before they will change.

When I mean change, I mean personal change. Given below are few examples of such change (things you need to change before it becomes a disaster):

• Smoking
• Clutter
• Overweight
• Selfishness
• Laziness
• Loneliness

The list can go on. Any person at any given point of time will be having a cluster of these personal change elements or shall I say ailments which he or she needs to change. Most of the people do not take action until a disaster strikes. Their threshold of tolerance for the dysfunctional elements in their lives are high.

Look at your own life and make a list of these elements that are causing you to be ineffective.

Now ask yourself this question:

Am I going to wait for a disaster to force me into crossing the threshold to change?

Lowering your threshold of tolerance for these dysfunctional elements will be the best road to a fulfilled life.

Think about it!

If only we could edit our lives---

Last week I spent some time reflecting. I rewound the tape in my mind and played it from the first event I could recall. I did this slowly, pausing the tape once in a while to learn something important.

There were many things I had excelled in. There were many good moments and good decisions. There were also moments that should never have happened, but alas, they happened. There were times when I failed. for example the first promotion I did not get. I lost it to a colleague who in my opinion was less qualified. I felt ashamed and at that moment I felt I was a complete failure.

Now looking back, I thank God I did not get that promotion. My life would have taken a different course and arrived at a destination far different from what I am enjoying now.

I also remembered the times people hurt me. I forgave all of them. What is more important for me is the realization that those very experiences were responsible for all my learning and hence responsible for all the good and strong relationships I am having now.

This whole reflection filled me with gratitude, both for the good things that happened to me and also for the bad ones.

The only thing I would have wished to be changed was the loss of loved ones. I will continue to miss them. Other than this and some stupid mistakes that originated from me, I would not edit anything else.

What about you? What, in your past life, would you want to edit? Try this reflection exercise, it may shift a few vital paradigms in you.
All the best!

"You" in the mirror---

We were running a residential Leadership Seminar. My co-facilitator told me that he saw his reflection almost everywhere; the building was filled with glass panes and mirrors. He didn't like what he saw. It was, then, I looked at myself. I didn't like what I saw, either. Over the period of years, I have allowed myself to become unfit.

When was the last time you had a hard look at yourself in the mirror? Try it out! It can be an eye opening experience.

As I sat thinking about it, it dawned on me that I had reached this state through a series of day-in day-out decisions.

You could take this experiment further and look at your inner self in the mirror of your mind. This a more difficult exercise. If you really look hard, then you may end up asking your self-"What have I become?"

The principle of the "gentle push"

Most of the stuff we procrastinate need only a gentle push towards it. I recently experienced this. I procrastinated doing something for a year, and finally did it; and all it needed was a gentle, baby step- a gentle push.
Try this:
Make a list of stuff you are procrastinating
Scan the list for the stuff that qualifies for the principle of "gentle push"
Determine what do you need to do that will require a gentle push towards
completing the task
Determine you will try to give yourself a gentle push and will continue the activity only if a tip over takes place
Continue the activity to completion

You will be surprised to find 80% of the items you have listed fit into the gentle push category.
Rapidly finish them and feel productive!

How do you handle violence in you?

Something goes wrong or someone does something that makes your blood boil. What do you do? Especially, when you are getting violent urges to lash out, if not physically, but verbally, it is time to pause, take a deep breath, decide to deal with it in an appropriate manner.

Whenever, I have let my anger loose, I have regretted it later. More harm is done on yourself than the recipient of your anger.

A good exercise for you tonight is to go back in time, all the way to your childhood, and dwell on each of the angry outbursts you have had. How do you feel about them now?

DO try it out! It will change your perspective about anger!
It will also give you the power to choose an appropriate response!

Life's milestones---"30"---"40"---"50"---

Recently, I heard a few of my classmates debate as to what it is to turn "50 years of age".

What do you think when you reach such milestones?

Turning 50 years of age means to me that life starts afresh with a major advantage. The advantage is that you have now the accumulated wisdom (your learning from successes and failures and other experiences). You can either use this great resource to your advantage or let it go to waste. The choice is yours!

How about putting all your learning to practice? You will find a force that will push you to your next level of achievement. You may be surprised at the level of achievement you reach.

Think about it!
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After a long break---

I stopped posting for a while and took a break. I have been travelling, mostly, in the US. I think it is time now to start documenting my learning again. Please stay tuned.

What can you do when the world economy is slowing down?--- BUILD RESILIENCE!!!

I can see the markets slowing down, banks collapsing, people going berserk with fear. Perhaps nobody anticipated this crisis; The ones who saw it coming may have buried their heads in denial.

Looking at the current situations here are few things we need to do to build resilience:

• Spend wisely-It is very easy to waste money
• Seal the cracks through which you are losing money-late credit card payments, delayed bills, wasteful ways with electricity, water,---
• Have a vocation 1 & a vocation 2 and develop alternative sources of income
• Become entrepreneurial rather than just an employee
• Develop a family vision for handling finance
• Explore various ways of investing
• Develop your knowledge and skills and enhance your earning capacity
• Spend time with your family and build a strong fortress of support in terms of relationships
• Network as never before-the more the friends you have the more the support system
• Get into the habit of helping others-make the law of reciprocity work for you
• Exercise and keep yourself healthy and encourage your family to adopt healthy life styles
• Get serious about spiritual pursuits-there is a lot more to life than just money and materialistic wins
• Have planned entertainment
• Learn and practice Yoga-meditation

All these activities will increase your resilience in these turbulent times.

Helping yourself to be resilient while helping others to be resilient is the best vaccination against the ills the current world trends will expose you to. 

People need to be together and help each other more than any other time in the recent past.

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Been away on a business trip followed by vacation

I did not post all these days. I got tied with other activities of life. I am back now and will post daily.

How balanced are you?

Many of us live extreme lives. We either skew towards being flaky, fun loving, pleasure seeking, individuals or skew in the opposite direction, organized, serious, disciplined, fun avoiding or postponing individuals.

I think both these positions are wrong and will have its serious consequences. The key way here is to be serious and fun loving. We need to strive for balance. Here are few tips of how to do exactly that:

• Monitor your self
• Schedule the opposite-If you have serious pursuits, add fun pursuits and vice a verse
• Block serious work time
• Block fun time
• Mix with children
• Mix with serious business people or your professional group
• Schedule "let go" weekends and controlled weekdays
• Schedule "serious weekends" and "let go" week days
• Be flexible at times based on the situation
• Be rigid at times based on the situation

Try these out! Live a full Life.

Do leave your comments here.

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How many goals behind are you?

I hope you have the habit of setting goals. I have been setting goals all my life. I have achieved many of them or most of them. I am sure you would have too.

What is important for us to check, periodically, is whether we are continuing to set goals and and continuing to achieve, as many, of them as possible.

The greatest danger you and I face is the tendency to become complacent. When we achieve one goal or some goals, we think we have arrived; suddenly, after losing a lot of time we realize that we have fallen back and there are many goals, staring at our face, still to be achieved; The more we have them, the more overwhelmed, we feel.

It is difficult to start again because we have fallen into inertia and we are also confused where to begin.

The solution to this problem is to keep track of the goals constantly, review periodically, and act to achieve the goals in a timely manner;This way we will live a fuller life.

What do you think? Do leave your comments here.

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Have you started a reversal program?

Some things deteriorate. This happens despite us taking steps to prevent it. This is more so true in the current age in which we are living in.

We are pressured, as never before, from all sides. It takes in and saps our energy leaving us exhausted. One terrible day we suddenly realize the extent of deterioration that has happened.

For example;

• Soured relationship
• Wayward children
• Dwindling finance
• Being stuck in a career
• Lack of friends
• Weight problem
• High blood pressure

The list can go on.

What I am going to suggest may be one of the most important things you have ever read.

Suggestion:

1. Take stock
2. List the things that have gone wrong
3. Segregate the things you can still take action upon
4. Prioritize that list
5. Start acting
6. Reverse the negative trend
7. Install a positive trend
8. Enjoy

Example:

• Overweight
• Not spending time with the family
• Low bank balance
• No friends
• Debt
• Poor relationship with your children

Take action while you still have time!

What do you think. Do leave your comment here.

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Do you lose your cool easily?

All of us can easily get through the day when things are going normally. The test of our mettle is when you get stressed up with all kinds of demands.

If you are having a rough day and you suddenly get a call that is irritating, as the person talking to you is arrogant and not listening to you or not willing to answer your questions, what do you do?

There is a great temptation to dump all the frustration on this one individual and give him your piece of mind. You may even feel good after such a conversation. However, the after effects of such an interaction can harm you more than anybody else. Your blood pressure may hit the roof, you get moody, and your anger may continue for another couple of hours.
How can you avoid this?
Here are a few tips:

• Relax consciously during the day
• Be aware of your emotions
• Constantly remind yourself that you could loose control of your temper
• Be aware of the affect others are having on you
• Postpone talking if you find yourself getting worked up

It is better to not have a conversation with an individual than to loose cool and destroy the relationship. Even if you want to persuade the person to your direction or cause, the time to have that conversation is when you are cool.

What do you think? Do leave your comments here

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Garlic bread and thin crust pizza incident

Last Saturday we ordered thin crust pizzas and garlic breads from a reputed pizza restaurant near our home.

The pizzas & garlic breads came on time, while they forgot to give us the dip we ordered along with the garlic bread.


We called them and they said that it will be at our door step in 5 minutes. After an hour and two further reminders, I thought it is about time to set this situation right.

I called them up and gave them critique which finally resulted in they sending us the dip and refunding us money ( a 30% discount for the inconvenience caused). Why did this conversation yield success. I am giving below the factors that lead to the success:

1. Carefully planned conversation
2. Clear explanation of the situation
3. Eliciting metaphorically the difference between the Pizza Restaurant & a Street vendor
4. Linking what has happened to their values and showing them the in congruence
5. Telling them of the consequences of not responding to me based on their own values
6. Telling them what the same Pizza restaurant would have done in other countries
7. Asking them how the will solve my problem
8. Negotiating on the final outcome

They quickly agreed step by step to comply to, not just my wishes, but their own dear held values.

Have you had a similar experience? DO share it here in your comments.

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How do you attain a procrastiantion free life?

I think we need to start small. How about a procrastination free day?

These are the steps I would recommend:

1. Define procrastination
2. Define specific tasks for the day related to goals you want to achieve
3. Set specific rules to distinguish between delaying a task because of prioritization and delaying a task because of procrastination
4. Choose your first procrastination free day
5. Live that day
6. Celebrate
7. Choose either to maintain a one day target or increase it if you feel confident

Starting small is the key to such a life.

What do you think?

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Do you collect the information you need?

We are constantly bombarded by information. They come from everywhere and hit us from all directions. The more information you get, the more you get used to reacting to it.


It is so easy, in this information age, to get so used to getting information without any efforts on our part that we begin to develop this dangerous habit of waiting for information to come on its own. Many a times we forget to seek information when we actually need to do so.

The only way to combat this habit is to ask this very important question frequently:

Do I need more information?

Seek information and you will be surprised at the impact it has on your decisions and your productivity.

What do you think? Do share your comments here.

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How does environment affect you?

I was waiting for my wife and daughter to finish their shopping at an international beauty shop. I couldn't help overhearing the sales girl in the shop explaining how environment-sunlight, pollution, dust, etc affects the skin. She suggested specific creams and lotions to apply daily.

This set me thinking. What about the affects of the environment on your inner self? World is full of pollution, obscene pictures, vulgar music, dishonest people---. The negative list can go on and on. You are surrounded by powerful media that influence you in a negative way; Without even knowing, you are affected, by all this bombardment of negative messages.

Just like your skin needs cleansing and application of creams to keep it glowing and healthy, your inner self needs cleansing too.

How can you cleanse your inner self?

• Read wholesome books that inspire
• Listen to inspiring music
• Go to inspiring movies
• Meditate
• Mix with friends who have principled values
• Filter out all the negative as much as possible

You can never be too careful in keeping your inner self glowing and healthy. It is as important as buying beauty creams from a beauty shop.

What do you think?

Do leave your comments here

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Do you prioritize your day's experience?

Let's go back in time to the year 1970. The number of options for you to fill your day was very limited.

Look at the picture depicting the options you had in the 70s':

• Movies


• TV (depending on where you lived)


• Radio


• Theatre


• Sports


• Music


• Hobbies


• Work


• Mail


• Books

I have not listed all of them. I am sure there could be more to add.

Look at the picture depicting today:

• TV


• Internet


• Blogs


• Social networking


• Wikis


• Groups


• MMRPOG


• email


• Video games


• Theatre


• Cell phone


• ipod


• Movies


• Movies at home through DVD/HD


• Sports


• Hobbies


• Books


• ebooks

The list can go on and on. The point I am making is that today we have much more options in front of us and that can be overwhelming. Moreover, unless we choose carefully, we may end up wasting time in activities that may not be yielding fully to our well being and happiness.

We need to take charge of the experiences we can have day to day by prioritizing and developing a hierarchy of fun and valuable things to do.

Think about it next time you reach for the remote to watch TV. Do you have better options? Are you stuck in one way of entertaining yourself? Are you stuck in one or few ways of networking? Are you stuck with one way of getting information or knowledge?

Think hard and act now! It will spell the difference between having a wholesome life in contrast with a boring, routine filled life?

What do you think?

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Do you program yourself with the word "if"?

I have heard a lot of "ifs" in my life. In fact I have myself used this word again and again until I realized its destructive power.

If I get good marks, I will join the best college.
If I achieve my target, I will get a lot of incentive
If my business is successful, I will earn my first million dollars
The list can go on and on---

If is very destructive. You are programming yourself for failure because there is an element of doubt in it. You need to substitute "if" with "when".

When I get good marks, I will join the best college
When I achieve my target, I will get a lot of incentives
When my business is successful, I will earn my first million dollars

Not only do we program ourselves with "if" we also use this word extensively with others too. We need to be careful so that we are not programmed by others through the use of the word"if".

Remember IF= doubt. WHEN=certainty

Always use "when"!

What do you think? Do leave your comments here.

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Do you have the habit of reviewing/checking/critiquing/measuring?

If you do not review or measure your progress, you will never get anything done. Even if you manage to get things done, you may end up doing things that may not get you too far.

I have been doing some serious thinking these days to add some formal review/critiquing mechanism to my personal life too; Even though, I am more right brained than left brained, a metrics/review/critique driven life can definitely help me.

What are the areas in life that you should measure or review?
Let me draw up a list here, at random:

1. Savings in the bank


2. Weight


3. Pursuit to specific goals


4. Meditation-your spiritual life


5. Time you spend with your spouse


6. Time you spend with your daughter/son


7. Vacation


8. Your health-Blood pressure, HDL, LDL, Total cholesterol---


9. Your diet


10. Your community work


11. The number of quality books you have read


12. Your expenses


13. Your debt


14. Your earnings


15. Your resume


16. Your business numbers


17. Your hobbies


18. Time you fritter away


19. Your bad habits


20. Your good habits


21. Wholesome movies you have watched


22. Your friends


23. Your extended family


24. Your possessions


25. Your property


26. Your cars


27. Your laptop


28. Your cell phone


29. Your PDA


30. Your camera


31. Your video camera


32. Your jewellery


33. Your skill sets


34. Your knowledge


35. Work life balance

The list above is not exhaustive. As I was typing the above list I suddenly realized that I have not used my video camera for more than a year. I do not know what is the state of its batteries.

A regular review can give you real insights about yourself and your life. Once you identify areas you need to take action, you can begin to act and live a more fulfilled life.

What do you think? Do you systematically review/critique important areas of your life?

Try it out! It can make a huge difference.

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What are the 30 things that make you an "also ran"?

There are so many factors that limit you to mediocrity and makes you an "also ran".

Check out whether any or all of these are playing a havoc in your life:

1. Blind role modelling
2. Unexamined influence of people
3. Labels you or others have attached onto you
4. Negative programming you have undergone
5. Lack of vision
6. Lack of mission
7. Lack of well thought out goals
8. Unexamined values
9. Complacency
10. Quickly satisfied with what you have currently achieved
11. Laziness and other habits
12. Not knowing your strengths
13. Environment
14. Negative cultural influence of:-(1) family, (2) Team, (3) Organization, (4) Country, (5) Current era in which you are born to (6) friends
15. Your self-talk
16. Narrow interests
17. Narrow focus on your job
18. Inadequate support
19. Wrong job
20. Poor risk taking
21. Inadequate seeking of adventure
22. Negative influence of books
23. Negative influence of TV
24. Negative influence of movies
25. Negative influence of Internet
26. The place your are currently living in
27. Unexamined negative experiences from your past
28. Your lack of education
29. Not spending time alone to introspect
30. Not learning from your mistakes

Use the above checklist and break free.

What do you think? Do record here your comments.

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How often do you try new things?

It is very easy to get into a rut and live a dull life. We get stuck to our careers, place we live, kind of books we read, entertainment we seek,---

Unless we schedule some time to try out new things, we may live for years missing out on many experiences.

I have decided to schedule an hour a day for trying out new stuff.

Some of the stuff I have shortlisted:

• Drawing
• Writing a book
• Playing around with photoshop
• Editing my video tapes
• Social work

I may not do everything everyday, but I will do something, for an hour, everyday.

Exploring various options, potential talent areas, and experiences are very important in addition to pursuing goals related activities.

Try it out! Break the monotony in your life-try new stuff!

What do your think? Do leave your comments here.

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Lessons from music!

I was listening to music on my ipod; Relaxing, with lights switched off, I could easily focus on the lyrics of the song and the accompanying music, the chorus, the violin here and there, the drums, ---

It set me thinking.

How does the music director/composer know the various sounds he has gathered together to compose such a melodious music?

I am sure she would have done the following:

1. Be passionate about music
2. Research the various instruments
3. Research the various sounds
4. Put in years of practice
5. Experiment with various sounds
6. Use her innate talent in composing music
7. Studied music
8. Practice till she is perfect
9. Use her creativity to compose

Our lives should be like that.

We need to pack our days with carefully selected experiences; Just like a music director composing music.

Steps to pack in wholesome experiences:

1. List out the stuff that are wholesome and fun to do
2. List out things that are beneficial to do
3. Align them to your goals.
4. Carefully plan your day and week with things to do that will give you maximum fun and benefit-Example-Exercise, listen to music, study, time with family---
5. Live them
6. Have fun
7. Reap the benefits

Fill your day with carefully chosen activities and you will be amazed how much fun living can be!

Try it out!

What do you think? Do share your thoughts in your comments here.

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