I am back again --- I will write from today. Lots to write.
Never let anyone feel they are indispensible. Especially in the workworld, while dealing with subordinates.
I am back. I will write again soon. May be tomorrow, but definitely this week.
I saw an exellent movie today --- Aquamarine ---. So cute. Well I have a long weekend and again I didn't plan anything. I need to do a reverse shift in all the dumb things I am doing. Let me try this in the Weekend. WIll post my experience
So, I am back---. Been busy. but no excuse not to learn. Well--- today's learning- Check your complacency rting on a scale of 1 (low) to 10(high). I was 2 today. What about you?
Back after a long time. I start doing things and then get distracted. Consistency is a priceless virtue.
How is it that I make a small mistake and it is taken out of proportion. I was late for a meeting and it got escalated to get an instant feedback.

email is a very dangerous medium to communicate. Processing it and replying is very important. People take for granted that they have made the full communication after they have sent an email and presume that it has been understood.

Since we get volumes of these emails and calendar invites, it is very easy sometimes to miss something.

You need to be careful and process every email, pause, determine the response and the next action. This was a very important learning.
To be non judgemental about people is the fundamental key to build relationship and having friends. This doesn't mean ignoring their misbehavior. Such behavior can be corrected through effective critiquing.

Being non judgemental means not attaching labels to people and writing them off.

Let me try this along with giving respect for a week equally to all ---. I will record my experience here.
How much respect do I give to people? Sometimes, I feel, I give it selectively. I need to get into the habit of giving respect to everyone equally.

What does this mean? It means valuing every person as a priceless opportunity to be a friend to. Perhaps the person may reciprocate or may not. To be able to do this, I need to be humble and acknowledge the greatness of the other person I talk to.

Let me try this for a week from today ---. I will record here my experience
What are my commitment levels for excellence in various areas of my life? Sometimes I find myself swinging from 9,9 to 1,1. Which style do I use most of the time?

It is important to be conscious of the commitment levels in all areas of life. I think I will do a pre-critique and a post critique after every situation and incident.

Let me experiment to raise my commitment levels to 9,9 for a week in all that I do. When do I start? -Tomorrow.
We selectively allow others to get away with what they want while forgetting our own needs. We recently gave up about seven important areas that are so close to our needs just to accomodate somebody else's agenda. Did all these adjustments bear fruit? Surpisingly no.

We need to be constantly alert to the fact that there may be people in our lives, not all of them, with whom we let down our gaurds and allow them to call the shots.

Will they do the same for us, even though what we may ask for is some minor adjustment on their part? The answer in most cases will be NO.
One of the best ways to learn is to take some incident, preferably, the latest and discuss is it with someone close to you who shared that experience/incident with you.

You may be amazed at the learning both of you will have. Such discussions changes both of you and can go a long way to prevent disfunctional behaviour.
The curtain story: The block is usually in my mind. I decide that something is too complex and difficult to do. I give it up. while all i needed to do is just a little bit of study and research.

It appears so easy when others do it, that I could have easily done it myself. This may be true in other areas of life too.

So:- Stop, study, split the task into easy components and just do it.
I operate on the basis of trust. I trust others and interact with them from the premises that they are trustworthy and reliable. However, from time to time, people betray my trust. I have come across people who are manipulative, self-centered and unreasonable.

It is unfortunate that the business world also has people with opportunistic style.

It becomes very important to trust, but it becomes more important to TRUST, BUT VERIFY.
There are some matters in life that are binary. For example wholsome values based on principles. Good habits based on principles. Often we cling to evil habits in one area of life and fool ourselves that they will not affect other areas.

It takes lot of courage to say no to evil habits and when temptation comes to nip them in the bud rather than rationalizing and fooling yourself that one day you will overcome them.

What we need to understand is that the evil habit will generate serious consequences often hidden.

It is binary-Yes or No. Choose no to evil habits and stick to it.
Sometime life springs surprises. Things you never imagined happens. Being prepared is alays not possible. But staying calm and thinking the challenge through could get you to the place where you belong.
Before you discuss anything with others, it is a good idea to take an OPV-Other People's view. This can make your conversations more meaningful
When there is a block, it is better to find alternative ways to solve the issue rather than waiting for the other person to solve the issue. Perhaps a tolerance limit needs to be defined based on the context and situation beyond which alternative solutions needs to be explored

It is better you bring the solutions rather than others suggesting it.
Planning ahead on events such as birthdays, will enable a more fully utilized opportunity for enjoying together. Moreover The act of planning shows that you care.
9,9 Excellence is what one must strive for in all areas of life. What are my committment levels for excellence?
  • It varies in all areas.
  • It swings from total neglect to high commitment

Keeping track of commitment levels becomes very important if you want to have balanced success in all areas of life.

It is so important to enjoy the success of others. If you are unable to then you need a lot of introspection. People usually fall into a vicious cycle of low self esteem generated by comparision with others

You are different. Life is not a Zero Sum Game. There are lots of opportunities and room for everyone.
Taking charge is so important. Are you in charge in all the important aeas of your life. Most of the people are imbalanced and have let go. We can make this out by just looking at them.

It is very important that you identify the important areas of your life and take charge. Examples- Physical Fitness, Finance, Relationships, Your Job, etc. Unless you carefully plan certain areas of your life can get totally neglected and this could lead to serious consequences.
How concerned are you, lately, of excellence? What is your Leadership Style? 9,9 or 1,1? No matter how good you are at planning or drawing up a list of next action items, you will fail to execute your actual priorities. You may end up executing action items that may be the "good thing to do" rather than the "best thing to do".

"Good" is always the enemy of the "best" or worst the "Worst" is the enemy of the "Best"
It is not enough to collect a lot of lists while organizing. One needs to execute the lists. Otherwise, what you have planned to do acumulates and your system will fall through. Collecting all the things you need to do may give you a false sense of achievement.

What we need is real results in the real world.
When you are making important decisions (eg: like buying a house or any other major ones) it becomes very important to list the consequences of your decisions.

Sometimes a decision like "not buying a house" may help you out in future. Despite this your original need still remains unfulfilled. It needs attention. It needs your decision. The quicker you make one the better you will be.
When you choose to do something you need to set a time limit. Otherwise you get lost in the stuff you are doing and others feel you are busy.

This can upset your own and any other joint plans-like going out, reading a book, etc.

Make plans and let others know about it is a smart way to get the most out of the day, especially when it is a holiday.
I had an "Aha" experience while having lunch today. We were just discussing about everything and suddenly ---

We are greatly impacted by the way our parents and perhaps grand parents handled their lives-what they have passed on to us through their lifestyle has great influence on us.

what you do and what you teach your children has a profound impact on not only your children, but also to all future generations.

If you live an imbalanced life you will not only pass it on to your children but also to your future generations

Many people can't even prepare the current generation for success.

How about consciously planning the success of your line of generation? It is a great responsibility and can be done not by teaching it but by living it

We had a great time today going around Geneva. Took photographs, video, went for boating and mini train ride.

This was an unplanned trip and if I look back I notice that such trips are really few. I think I need to create a fun component in my daily planning. This will help us to utilize every opportunity to have fun together
When someone reports a conflict situation by email, it is very important to home in on the key areas and check for the following: Facts pretaining to the event, statements ( ones that have been quoted), the interpretations, the logic of the interpretations, and most inportant the deletions.

This is possible only through thorough inquiry. It is very important to keep in mind the sound principles that support effective Inquiry:
  1. Search for Information
  2. Verify the Information
  3. Invite to ideas and attitudes different from my own
  4. Continuously test the soundness of my thinking by comparing it with thoughts of others

Never take any statement for a given when people make statements, especially of others and what they said. Trust but verify.

Family is everything. Remembering together good old days brings great joy. Perhaps this needs to be a regular exercise. Periodically, but spontaneously looking back together and enjoying the great moments we had together is not only joyful but gives new perspective to the current happenings in life.

Many unutilized resources such as gifts, photos, videos etc can be of great help, but more than all this is going down the memory lane together will always prove to be a priceless experience.
People make silent decisions about you. These decisions are hidden. They manifest outwardly in form of subtle behavioural differences. You would need to be alert and spot these to get to the root of the behavior so that you can remedy it.

You too make silent decisions about others, often triggered by others behaviors. Being aware through introspection is the key to effective interpersonal relationships.
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Hi! This is my blog. I like to explore new things and this blog is one of them. Here I will be recording my learnings.

This Blog is one of them. Here you will find my daily learnings. I hope you will be inspired and perhaps add your learnings in the comments.

Learning together is more fun and more insightful