How to mess up consistently and completly?

The best way to mess up is not to pay attention. Stop tracking things.

Let me give you a nice list to start with:

• Your money in the bank
• Your expenses
• Your credit card spending
• Your weight
• Your friends
• Your family
• Your children
• Your parents
• Your boss
• Your resume
• Your health
• Your spiritual connection
• Your house
• Your commitments

The list can go on and on.

How many of the items in the list are you not keeping track? Are you messing up sufficiently?

Alas for many of us, we are good at messing up and would have said "yes" to most of the items on the list; And what is more alarming is that the list up there is incomplete.

Take an inventory, before it is too late.

Threshold of tolerance for change

Different people have different thresholds of tolerance before they will change.

When I mean change, I mean personal change. Given below are few examples of such change (things you need to change before it becomes a disaster):

• Smoking
• Clutter
• Overweight
• Selfishness
• Laziness
• Loneliness

The list can go on. Any person at any given point of time will be having a cluster of these personal change elements or shall I say ailments which he or she needs to change. Most of the people do not take action until a disaster strikes. Their threshold of tolerance for the dysfunctional elements in their lives are high.

Look at your own life and make a list of these elements that are causing you to be ineffective.

Now ask yourself this question:

Am I going to wait for a disaster to force me into crossing the threshold to change?

Lowering your threshold of tolerance for these dysfunctional elements will be the best road to a fulfilled life.

Think about it!

If only we could edit our lives---

Last week I spent some time reflecting. I rewound the tape in my mind and played it from the first event I could recall. I did this slowly, pausing the tape once in a while to learn something important.

There were many things I had excelled in. There were many good moments and good decisions. There were also moments that should never have happened, but alas, they happened. There were times when I failed. for example the first promotion I did not get. I lost it to a colleague who in my opinion was less qualified. I felt ashamed and at that moment I felt I was a complete failure.

Now looking back, I thank God I did not get that promotion. My life would have taken a different course and arrived at a destination far different from what I am enjoying now.

I also remembered the times people hurt me. I forgave all of them. What is more important for me is the realization that those very experiences were responsible for all my learning and hence responsible for all the good and strong relationships I am having now.

This whole reflection filled me with gratitude, both for the good things that happened to me and also for the bad ones.

The only thing I would have wished to be changed was the loss of loved ones. I will continue to miss them. Other than this and some stupid mistakes that originated from me, I would not edit anything else.

What about you? What, in your past life, would you want to edit? Try this reflection exercise, it may shift a few vital paradigms in you.
All the best!

"You" in the mirror---

We were running a residential Leadership Seminar. My co-facilitator told me that he saw his reflection almost everywhere; the building was filled with glass panes and mirrors. He didn't like what he saw. It was, then, I looked at myself. I didn't like what I saw, either. Over the period of years, I have allowed myself to become unfit.

When was the last time you had a hard look at yourself in the mirror? Try it out! It can be an eye opening experience.

As I sat thinking about it, it dawned on me that I had reached this state through a series of day-in day-out decisions.

You could take this experiment further and look at your inner self in the mirror of your mind. This a more difficult exercise. If you really look hard, then you may end up asking your self-"What have I become?"

The principle of the "gentle push"

Most of the stuff we procrastinate need only a gentle push towards it. I recently experienced this. I procrastinated doing something for a year, and finally did it; and all it needed was a gentle, baby step- a gentle push.
Try this:
Make a list of stuff you are procrastinating
Scan the list for the stuff that qualifies for the principle of "gentle push"
Determine what do you need to do that will require a gentle push towards
completing the task
Determine you will try to give yourself a gentle push and will continue the activity only if a tip over takes place
Continue the activity to completion

You will be surprised to find 80% of the items you have listed fit into the gentle push category.
Rapidly finish them and feel productive!

How do you handle violence in you?

Something goes wrong or someone does something that makes your blood boil. What do you do? Especially, when you are getting violent urges to lash out, if not physically, but verbally, it is time to pause, take a deep breath, decide to deal with it in an appropriate manner.

Whenever, I have let my anger loose, I have regretted it later. More harm is done on yourself than the recipient of your anger.

A good exercise for you tonight is to go back in time, all the way to your childhood, and dwell on each of the angry outbursts you have had. How do you feel about them now?

DO try it out! It will change your perspective about anger!
It will also give you the power to choose an appropriate response!

Life's milestones---"30"---"40"---"50"---

Recently, I heard a few of my classmates debate as to what it is to turn "50 years of age".

What do you think when you reach such milestones?

Turning 50 years of age means to me that life starts afresh with a major advantage. The advantage is that you have now the accumulated wisdom (your learning from successes and failures and other experiences). You can either use this great resource to your advantage or let it go to waste. The choice is yours!

How about putting all your learning to practice? You will find a force that will push you to your next level of achievement. You may be surprised at the level of achievement you reach.

Think about it!
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After a long break---

I stopped posting for a while and took a break. I have been travelling, mostly, in the US. I think it is time now to start documenting my learning again. Please stay tuned.