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Are you monitoring the gradual changes around and within you?

Sudden changes could be dangerous, but gradual changes can be devastating. Let me explain this.
We easily notice the sudden changes. They catch our attention and we need to take action. However, most of us, completely miss the gradual changes that affect us until it becomes so painful that we are unable to ignore them anymore.

Examples
  • Gradual loss of hair
  • Erosion of trust
  • Slow loss of self-control
  • Gradual accumulation of clutter
  • Gradual gain of weight
  • Slow and steady deterioration of a relationship
  • Gradual loss of customers
  • Gradual erosion of our values
  • Gradual move towards becoming redundant

The list an go on.

How do we combat this?

The only way is to be alert and monitor the changes.

Here are a few steps you can take:

  1. Identify areas in your life that is subject to gradual changes;The list can be very long
  2. Prioritize the areas you will monitor
  3. Assess the extent of erosion
  4. Develop action plan to arrest the erosion
  5. Develop action plan to reverse the erosion completely, if possible
  6. Revisit the list periodically

Do it now before it is too late!

Do it before the change attains a critical mass!

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Do you use the power of music to move you?

I was watching a show recently where professional singers, each having a totally different style of music, were performing. I could see and feel the mood of the audience swing as the different themes of music and songs were sung.

I could also feel the music arousing in me, the very same moods that the audience were experiencing (I was watching this on television).

At one point, one singer sang a very jubilant and bubbly song with a corresponding jubilant effect on the audience, while the next performer sang a serious, sad, and thought provoking song. The latter singer changed the jubilant audience with just few lines of her song to a sober, silent, thoughtful and even tearful audience.

The transformation was magical and immediate; This set me thinking.

How about using music to change our moods deliberately. I have been neglecting this powerful tool all my life.

Every one of us need a collection of music to change our moods; Now with ipods around, let's put technology and music to proper use.

Just imagine hearing very inspiring music, every day. Just imagine having a menu of music to select from.

I have decided to collect music carefully, the ones that will inspire me, and load them onto my ipod; Here is another idea-How about having different ipods for different moods?

What do you think? D0 you have a collection?

Do share your experience here.

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Why do you feel closer to people you care, when you are about to leave them?

I was asked a deep and profound question by my daughter.

The question:
  • Why do you feel closer to people you care, when you are about to leave them?

I was also asked a follow up question:

  • Why do you feel closer when you stay apart from people you care about?

These questions set me thinking! I went back in time, to the points in my life where I had to part with people, I deeply cared about; The cause of the parting may have been varied, from mere re-location to losing the person permanently, when they pass away.

Why do we wait for the last moment to feel closer! Is it because we are complacent and take relationships for granted?

How easy it is, for you, to get caught up with life's heavy demands and forget the very people who define your life.

We need not wait till the point where we have to move away from people to feel closer with them.

In fact, you need to take every meeting to a level where you get closer and closer with the people you care about. It does not happen without your active involvement in the relationship.

Every relationship is an eternal celebration!

Think about it! Reach out to the people you love!

Do share your experience here.

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How do you handle betrayal?

A close relative of ours came to our home with his family to invite us for his daughter's wedding. In the course of our conversation, he revealed how his sister and brother are not participating in the wedding. The reason he said was they sided the opposition in a property dispute and betrayed him. There was a lot of hurt in his eyes as he was the one who had supported them through out all these years.

My question: How do you handle such betrayal?
Here are some tips:
  • You need to protect your interest so that you are not cheated
  • You need to voice your feelings of hurt to the ones who betrayed you
  • You need to forget and forgive them, more for your well being than theirs;Such an act has therapeutic effect on you
  • Maintain distance with them more to protect yourself and your family
  • Move on with life. Make new connections and mingle with people who can reciprocate your trust
  • Continue to help the ones who betrayed you as before; this may sound crazy but I think we need to keep our end of the equation right
  • Teach your children the lesson you learnt
  • never gossip about the ones who betrayed you
  • Pray for the well being of the ones who betrayed you

I think you do this and you will keep your heart and mind clean, free from the toxic effects of anger, self-pity, and hatred.

Do share your experience here.

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How to move at rapid acceleration to your goals?


Please read the previous post before you read any further.
Each of these quadrants need to have a name to apply this powerful concept on a day to day basis. I have named them using the greek alphabets. These names will serve as a short cut to classify your activities in to the quadrants.
The names of all the four choice goal quadrants are given below:
  • Activities chosen by you, on your own and they are aligned to your goals:

  • Activities chosen by others/chance and they are aligned to your goals:

  • Activities chosen by others and they are NOT aligned to your goals:

  • Activities chosen by you, on your own and they are NOT aligned to your goals:
What is 5α?
Definition:
It is a "unit of activity" done in 5 minutes that will take you to your goals and these have been chosen by you, on your own. Hence the number "5 "denotes to five minutes of any activity that can be suffixed with either α,β,γ, or δ depending on the nature of the activity, as explained above.

The more you pack your day with 5α activities, the quicker you will reach your goals. It is not possible to avoid 5β activities as we live in an interdependent and collaborative world. However, these activities take you to your goals, anyway, and they need to be included. These activities also build relationships with others when you deliver what you promise to them.

The danger is in the activities 5γ and 5δ as they are no way connected to your goals. The more you pack your minutes with these activities, the more the danger of missing your goals completely.

Look at the picture and you will see different bands of activities over the period of your waking hours, which may be 16-18 hours.

what is the percentage distribution of the various activities? Does your band for today or yesterday resemble the first band or the 4Th band or any of the bands in between.

Draw your band for yesterday or today. How does it look? Are you happy? Are you in control?

Asking these questions and taking remedial steps will have profound impact on the way you live your life! Use this tool regularly!
Do share your experience here.

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Are the activities you choose aligned to your goals?


Look at the picture above and ask yourself the following questions:
  • Where does your choice fit in?
  • How much of "you" is there in every activity you select to act upon?
  • Are you acting on the activities chosen by chance or others?
  • How many of the activities you chose are aligned to your goals?
  • Which quadrant do you fall in most of the time?

The more activities you do that are aligned to your goals, the more the achievement and fun you will have in life.

Think about it carefully!

Monitor your selection of activities!

Live in the quadrants that are aligned to your goals! Use this Choice-goal quadrants to monitor yourself!

Do share in your experience here of using this quadrant.

Stay tuned for future posts where I will share a technique to live in the quadrant, where you are in control and the activities you select always are aligned to your goals majority of the time.

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Do you know how to set up virtuous cycles of action to your advantage?


Read the previous post before you read this post.

We need to know how to set up virtuous cycles of recurring actions that get automated by installing them as habits.

The more virtuous cycles we have, the easier and productive our lives will be.

It is very easy to set up these cycles and I will show you how to set one up.

Study the picture before you read further.

Here is the cyclical process you need to follow:


  • Develop an inventory of focus areas where you would like to set up a virtuous cycle of action-Example-exercise, balancing your check book, filing your tax returns, saving money, hobby cycle-photography, ---

  • Chose one to focus upon and set a cycle

  • Visualize all the fun and benefits you will have if you regularly act on the focus area and set the overall goal to be accomplished regularly

  • Visualize all the fun, benefits you will miss and the negative consequences, if any, that will follow, if you do not act upon this focus area

  • Decide to enhance the value you place on this activity by keeping this focus area in your awareness, frequently. The frequency will depend on the nature of the activity

  • Break the activity into 5 to 10 minutes chunks and set milestones and sub-goals; Go for these chunks

  • Sequence these 5 to 10 minutes chunks ,appropriately and logically

  • Determine the resources required to accomplish the activity and realign the environment in which the activity takes place in a manner that the resources required for the activity is easily accessible.

  • Frequently visualize the negative consequences first and then the positive consequences, to inspire yourself to act

  • Act and accomplish the results that were preset for this focus area

  • Monitor the resources constantly so that these resources are available for you, when you need them, to feed the action cycle

  • Stop the process and move on to set up another virtuous cycle, once the current one has become a habit

Try this and change your life for good one virtuous cycle at a time.


Do share your experience here.

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Are you aware of the basic, powerful principles of action?

How is it that we do some tasks very easily and they become habits? Why are some tasks so difficult that they don't stick as habits? What are the principles that will convert useful tasks to become sticky habits of a lifetime?

Here are the powerful principles for you:
  • Higher the value you attach to an activity the more chance it becomes a recurring habit
  • Breaking down an activity into 5 minutes sequential steps enhances the chance of it becoming a habit
  • Identifying a milestone for every 5 minutes, till you reach the final milestone of that activity, enhances the chance of it becoming a recurring habit
  • Going through the sequential steps every day for the next 21 days enhances the chance of it becoming a habit
  • Visualizing discomfort of not going through the sequential steps of the activity enhances the chances of it becoming a habit
  • Having tools and other resources ready and having them placed spatially and contextually in a manner conducive to the ease of execution of the sequential steps of the activity, will enhance the chances of it being done everyday, forever
  • Monitoring the availability of the resources and tools and consistently replenishing them when they get depleted goes a long way in helping the activity to become a habit

Put these principles to steer useful activities to become habits of a lifetime.

Do share your experience here.

Are you aware of your talents?

I was watching a reality show and saw some kids come up to the stage and sing songs (Bollywood/Pop songs) imitating the professionals who were present there. I could see the expression of delight on the professionals' faces as they heard their own song being sung, to near perfection, by these kids.

These kids were so good and so talented! It is really a boon for these kids to have their talent spotted, so early in their lives! They have all the time in the world to nurture and perfect their talents; Set me thinking deeply!!!

How many of us have the opportunity to be aware of our talents early in life?

I think there is a flaw in our educational system or the way we upbring our children that prevents the surfacing of the talents in them, early on.

Are you aware of your talents? What if, in your childhood, your special talent was identified and you had an opportunity to nurture it, just like the kids I saw on the reality show? Would life be different, for you, today?

These thoughts set me thinking deeper!

Do you realize that people who charge obscene money for their performance are all related to the special talents they have?

Example:
  • Actors
  • Pop stars
  • Authors
  • Business men
  • Thought leaders

Is it too late for you or me to identify our talents and nurture them? I am sure the answer is a resounding "No".

The challenge, however, is to know the process by which we can identify our talents!

Stay tuned for future posts on how to identify your talents!

Meanwhile, ask yourself these important questions!

  • Do I know my unique talent?
  • Am I nurturing my unique talent?
  • Is my talent matured enough to give me commercial returns?
  • What is the one, unique talent I possess that I can excel and reach the "level of masters"?

Of course, it is NOT necessary to turn your talent into money; That is a very personal decision and choice.

It is a choice, only you can make!

What are your thoughts on this? Do share in your comments here!

What is the "life" of a bad habit in you?

All of us have good and bad habits. Some of the habits are "living" in you for a long time. They have a mind of their own and they control you, even though you have the illusion that you are in control.


How long have the dysfunctional, bad habits "living" in you? It is time, now, to exterminate the bad habits one by one.

Here are some steps to start the process:
  • Identify and list down on paper or create an electronic list of all your bad habits
  • Highlight the ones that are most dysfunctional and are causing you a lot of trouble
  • Determine how long these habits have been "living" in you and controlling you
  • Choose a habit-It is better to choose the easy ones first so that you can get a quick win (See the previous post)
  • Develop an action plan with a timeline for extermination
  • Take the first step now
  • Celebrate the success
  • Get back to the list and continue the process

Try this and see how this can completely change the way you live.

It is time now to take back the control! Do it right now after you finish reading this post.

Do share your experience here for the inspiration of others.

Do you search for quick wins?

There are many areas in life where we can search for quick wins. Let's define a quick win.
Definition:
A quick win is a result we can achieve with minimal effort or even maximal effort within a short period of time, called quick win time window.
The length of the "short period of time" will depend on the nature of your activity.

Hence we need to do the following to identify quick wins:

  • Look at the overall effort required

  • Look at the overall results required

  • Identify major and minor milestones

  • Define long term, short term, and quick win time lines

  • Scan and search for the ones that can be achieved in a quick win time period

  • Choose a single activity that would give you a quick, satisfying win

  • Plan and execute this activity.

  • Enjoy the quick win
Example:
Loose weight*:
  • Overall effort: Exercising, diet, and following a regime of do's and don'ts
  • Overall results: loose 20 kgs
  • Major milestones: 1Kg loss---5Kgs loss---
  • Long term win: Loss of 20 Kgs
  • Short term win: Loss of 10 kgs
  • Quick win: Loss of 1 kg
  • Quick win single activity: Completely stop coke, junk food, sweets and other fattening food
  • Execute the activity with the prime focus on the quick win activity. However nothing stops you from adding other activities. The deal is that even if you miss other activities, you CANNOT miss the quick win activity
  • Attain 1 Kg or more loss
  • Enjoy
  • Repeat the process

Try this out and get quick wins from all areas of your life.

DO share your experience here
* Any weight loss activities please consult your doctor first before trying any suggestion. What I have given here is an example

Are you aware of how you interpret life?

Every event, idea, person and whatever you come across in your day-to-day life is subject to your interpretation. Over a period of time you fall into a habit of interpreting in a certain way that is either good or dysfunctional to you.

Your mind is so quick to take a stance that you almost miss noticing it or you are completely unaware of what is happening. The result is that it affects your behavior and your attitude.

It is important to monitor the way you interpret and draw meaning in your life; This is possible only in solitude.

Here is an exercise for you:
  • Take time out to be alone
  • Reflect back at your life
  • Pick few events from the distant past and check whether your interpretation and your subsequent actions were functional and wholesome
  • Pick some events that happened recently and check how you interpreted them.
  • Were your interpretations and the subsequent thoughts and actions conducive to your success?
  • How are you interpreting, at this very moment, this exercise.
  • Try to spot a trend
  • Take action steps to change the way you interpret life if you find it dysfunctional to you and your success

Try this exercise a few times. You will find that changing the way you interpret your life is the key to living life to the fullest.

Get into the habit of periodically doing this exercise to ensure you have developed wholesome habits of the way you give meaning to everything around you and inside you.

Do share in your experience here!

How can you get back your magic moments with your loved ones?

It is so easy to take your relationships for granted. Many a times your loved ones are the ones most neglected.
  • When was the last time you gave a gift to your wife?
  • When was the last time you played with your son?
  • When was the last time you told a story to your daughter?
  • When was the last time you visited your grandfather?

In the past certain activities might have defined your relationship with a loved one. These are the activities that got both of you closer. In this mad-rush world we quickly get distracted and forget those lovely times we had with our loved ones.

Distance, time, age, and the stress and strain of day-to-day living begins to erase those lovely moments; then suddenly, you are brought face to face with the gap and the lost opportunities. It is a very painful experience.

Resolve to make use of every opportunity to bring back those magic moments with your loved ones.

Reach out now! You will be amazed at the impact it can have on you.

Do share your experience here. Enjoy---

Have you created a daily dashboard for yourself?


It is important to have a daily dashboard that guides you to take course correction. We usually get focused on one thing or another and get blind sided to the rest; Very soon we get our lives dangerously imbalanced.
Imbalance has tremendous impact on our quality of life.
Please find below some symptoms
  • You are extremely successful professionally but lost out on family relationship
  • You are successful and have a good family relationship, but financially you have created a mess
  • You are so focused on friends and relationship that you neglect your professional life
  • You are so busy getting through the day that you forget to stop and learn
  • You find you are living a life against your values or your values have quietly shifted
  • You have completely missed out on the spiritual goals you set
  • You find that it is more than a year since you spent some quiet time with yourself
  • You have no friends

Well, these are some of the symptoms. It generally manifests itself as a feeling of restlessness, for you know deep in your heart that you are spinning your wheels and getting no where.

The antidote to this frightful state, is daily monitoring. What you need to do is construct a dashboard with which you can constantly monitor and course correct.

The dashboard, I use is depicted in the figure. You may begin with a few of the dials as you may have not constructed data feed for all the dials


Explanation:

Physical:

  • Exercise, nutrition, relaxation, sleep etc.

Learning:

  • Professional, new skills, training, new hobbies---

Living and adding values:

  • Your values, value shifts, and your daily contribution levels in various areas of your life

Financial:

  • Your bank balance, spending pattern, debt, earning capacity---

Relationship:

  • Your family, friends, new network you have been nurturing---

Spiritual:

  • Your spiritual goals, exercises, meditation---

You have to build your dashboard; Some of the dials need a lot of intra-personal work but you have to build it sooner or later.

Use this powerful concept to live a balanced life. Your dashboard will not only make your life richer, it will also make your life balanced.

Use dashboard daily!

Try it out and share your experience here.

Use this tool to make your life productive!


We are living in times when we need to focus on multiple things. Assembly line approach to work is ineffective in most of the situations we find ourselves in; This is true, especially, if you are a knowledge worker.
In an attempt to solve this problem many people try multitasking. Multitasking is not only dangerous, it is outright ineffective.
It can result in burn out and you will end up producing low quality work.

What I am posting here is a tool that will help you to succeed. The tool is simple and fun to use.
Try it out! Refer to the picture which is self-explanatory.
  • Scan: You scan for 3 minutes or longer for various activities
  • Spot: You spot an activity based on the context, situation and the goals you have in mind
  • Focus: You focus on the activity for a preset time
  • Accomplish: You accomplish the preset goal for the activity
  • Stop: You stop the activity
  • Break: You take a break which is predetermined

You go through the cycle again and again through out the day. At night you take a long break-you sleep. Next day you continue---

Try it for a day. You will be stunned at what you can accomplish.

Do share in your experience here.

How much do you use the things you buy?

Week in week out we shop. One of our favourite pastimes is to go to a mall and window shop; very soon window shopping becomes actual shopping.


The things we buy usually are:
  1. Books

  2. DVD

  3. Clothes

  4. gadgets

  5. magazines

  6. grocery

  7. vegetables

  8. perfumes

  9. Watches

  10. Jewellery

  11. trinkets

  12. Stationary

The list can go on and on. I am sure you can come with a similar list or even a more comprehensive one.

In addition to this we subscribe to magazines, buy comics, subscribe to all kinds of channels on satellite TV.


As I look back to the past six months, I am amazed and also stunned. A thought immediately struck me.


How much of what we buy do we actually use?

  • There are many books I have not yet read

  • There are many magazines I have not read-Example-Harvard Business Review

  • There are movies (DVDs) we have not yet seen (Last Saturday I subscribed to a home delivery movie rental agency)

  • There are channels on my TV I have never seen

  • There are regular channels I have not watched for a long time

  • I have not used my Nikon D80 SLR for a long time

  • I have not used my Sony Camcorder for a long time

  • We have not used our printer and scanner for a very, very, very long time

  • I have one more TV neatly packed in a box

  • I have 18 hours of digital video tapes not yet processed and burnt on DVD

I think I will stop here because this is becoming a really long painful list.

The point I am driving at is this:

We buy a lot of things (It costs money to buy) and we use it very erratically or do not use it at all.

We need to take stock of stuff we buy/subscribe. and we need to use them to our advantage. I think systematically planning to use the stuff we have and using them is the sign of prosperity and plenty; Otherwise you may have everything and still live an impoverished life.

We need to have gratitude for all the stuff we have and use them wisely.

Take stock! Are you doing justice to the effort you put in and the money you spent?

Look around you and use the stuff you have wisely. It is the best foot you can put forward to live life prosperously.

When was the last time you thought of your best friends?

It is important in life to have friends; More important to have true friends; And extremely important to have best friends. While it is easy to have acquaintances, it is very difficult to have good friends. If you have good friends and few of them are your best friends you can count yourself as a very lucky one on this dreary planet we are living in.

I would like to share with you a beautiful poem composed by my daughter. She composed this for her best friends. I found an universality in this poem and hence I am posting it for all of you who will read this post.

The Poem:

My Dear Friend…

Friendship… what does it mean?
A question in the mind of every teen
An answer I have found through a few
Cause I have friends that are very true!

I think I truly am a really lucky girl,
As I silently watch true friendship unfurl
Cause my friends, they are always there,
And they never let me any sorrow bear

Across the distances long and forlorn,
To be the best of friends we were born
Such high standards for us we have set,
But I trust you’ll surpass it, do not fret

Be it in the morning, evening or at anytime,
Even at midnight I wouldn’t think for even a dime
Where ever you are, India or U S A,
I know your support is always on its way

You follow every single unwritten rule,
To not honor you, I would be a fool!
I will not thank you cause you’re my friend,
But I can promise to love you till the very end!


Do share in your experiences.

Try this quantum leap experiment!!!


Look back at the week gone by. How did it go? Did you achieve the goals you set? Did you set goals at all?---

These are the few questions and many more that are going around in my head, as I sit on this Friday evening, in my office, with the weekend staring at me.

I think we need to ask these questions every week; Of all the questions that I found interesting to ask, I found a question that profoundly shook me up and energized me.

The question is:

What was the one thing I needed to change, if I had changed, that would have given me a quantum leap in productivity and quality of life last week?
Home in on that one thing you need to change and change it next week; Experiment.
This is the quantum leap experiment and the question is the quantum leap lever you can use to your advantage.
This question should act as a lever to move and turn your world around.
Every week the answer to the question may be different. Every person may get a different answer.
What is important is to get to that single, core behavior that is causing the problem or inhibiting you. Once you get to that critical behavior, you can find a way to change it.

Try it out and do share your experience in your comments to this post.

Do you use the power of subconscious processing?

Many a times I have got an idea as soon as I get up in the morning; By the time I reach my office, the idea is well formed and is ready to be acted upon.

There is a power that goes to work for me every night and that power is subconscious processing. It has never failed to give me brilliant ideas.

Given below is the way to tap the power:
  1. Think of the area or problem you want your subconscious mind to process upon
  2. Dwell over this problem just before you go to sleep
  3. Visualize yourself getting up in the morning with a brilliant idea
  4. Now relax by visiting some memory that was very pleasant to you
  5. Give a command: My subconscious mind is processing the solution for the problem I just dwelt upon while I am falling into a nice relaxed sleep. My subconscious mind is continuing to process the solution which it will present to me when I wake up after a good relaxing sleep.
  6. Fall asleep thinking of the good memory

It is important to word your command carefully. One needs specialized training in this and the commands have specific rules of construction.

For those who don't have this knowledge, being alert in the morning as soon as you wake up and keeping a pencil and pad at hand is an alternative route.

If you get an idea continue to think of it and process it as you shower, get dressed, eat your breakfast and commute to reach the office. Do this only if you are NOT driving to office. Always follow safety norms and ensure you are in deep thought, only in places that do not require your alertness to avoid accidents.

Let your mind work for you! Train it and it will be your best ally in the years to come.

Happy, safe idea processing!

Do you schedule sufficient time for your ideas to incubate?

Scheduling sufficient think time for creative projects is very important, especially if that project has a deadline.

You need time to think, you need time to generate new ideas and once a new idea is formed, you need time for that idea to incubate;

Hence the chain of events should be as shown below:

Start---Think time---Understand the project---Think time---Goals set----Think time---Ideas---Incubate time---Final selection.

Most of the people do not schedule think time into their projects; Very few people even know the concept of incubation time.

Incubation time gives your mind, sub conscious mind, the time to process and give you a well formed, quality idea.

In this fast track, reactive, hyperventilating world, very few people use the power of incubation time.

They just react from one situation to another and from one project to another.

You can use incubation time only if you sufficiently plan for it and schedule it.

Try it out! Do share your experience here through your comments.

Do you use the power of pause?

Do you know that there is a power in a pause? When I say pause, I mean a pause for just a few seconds. What do you do in these seconds? You reflect! You take stock! You ask your self a few questions!
Some examples:
  • You get back home, mindlessly sit on your sofa and your hand reaches for the remote; Pause; Is this the best use of time?
  • You open the refrigerator and look at the cake with your name written all over it. Your hand automatically moves towards the cake; Pause; Am I not dieting? How much more will I have to jog to burn the calories of this cake?
  • Your peers are gossipping near the water cooler. You can see them laughing and they seem to be having lots of fun. You find yourself walking towards them; Pause; Isn't there a major report that is due at 4:00 PM?
  • Your wife is upset with you because you forgot to do what you promised to do. She is giving you a feedback which sounds to you as criticism; You want to lash out and give her a piece of your mind; Pause; Isn't what she is saying true? Why did I forget to do what I promised to do?

These examples can go on and on. There is a power in the pause. It can change the course of your life. It is one of the best antidotes for slacking too.

The only time you should not pause is in an emergency situation that makes your body react to save your life: You are walking in a jungle and a tiger jumps in your track. You are driving on the highway and the car in front of you breaks suddenly. These instances call for instant action and a pause can kill you.

In other areas of your life a pause has the power to empower you to take the right course of action.

Try using the power of pause ,after you finish reading this post, for the next 24 hours. Do share your experience in your comments.

Try using the power of pause for a week. You will be amazed at the results!

Happy pausing!!!

How do you avoid your habit to slack off?

There are times when you totally get side tracked. There is a huge inertia that you need to overcome. You thought all this while that you were in perfect control of yourself and your planned effort; Then, suddenly, the bottom gives away and you have free fall;suddenly you realize that you are in the bottom of a pit or a rut.

Why does this happen?
Several reasons:
  1. You are tired
  2. No recreation
  3. Stressed out
  4. Too many changes hitting you all at once
  5. Trying too many things together
  6. Multi tasking
  7. A sense of overwhelm
  8. All or nothing thinking (Perfectionism-miss one day of exercise, get demotivated and give up totally
  9. Having double set of values-wholesome and unwholesome

How do you avoid this for good? I offer two sets of strategies.

Stay tuned for future posts for these strategies.

Meanwhile, the question you need to ask yourself right is:

Am I slacking off, right now? Do I need to use some specific strategies to get out of the rut?

Do share your experience!

How are the stories around you influencing you?

We are constantly bombarded by stories. They come in different forms, shapes and guises.
I am listing below some sources of stories:
  1. TV-soaps, movies, news, reality shows---
  2. Movies
  3. Colleagues tell you of their stories
  4. Friends sharing with you their various encounters/events
  5. Bosses narrating you of your peers
  6. Your peers narrating you of your boss
  7. News paper
  8. Magazines
  9. Video games
  10. Internet
  11. Advertisements
  12. Commercials
  13. SMS
  14. Radio
  15. Music

The list can go on and on.

Why am I writing a post on stories?

It is because stories are the most powerful form of influence. Let me give you an experiment which you can try from this moment. Try to keep a count of the number of stories you encounter from different sources from this very moment to the time you retire to bed today. You will be amazed at the outcome.

Each of the stories you hear day in day out has tremendous influence on you. The influence works subconsciously. The stories you hear are shaping you either for good or bad. The only way to channel it to good is to do some kind of reflection and process the stories.

Think about it! What are the major stories that have influenced you to become the person you are right now?

Do share your experience in the comments.

Do you periodically check whether your children need your help?

Often we leave our children to themselves. We are confident that they can handle their day-to-day activities in school or college successfully, by themselves.

We do this more often when we find our children are very successful. We also exhibit this "let go" approach when we are caught up in our whirlwind of activities.

Children, too, often forget to reach out for help; They approach us only when they hit the wall or experience a crisis.

This is not a good approach. Parents should periodically check whether their children need their inputs.

You can never know, an input from you can make a big difference in your child's approach to study or in the submission of a report.

Children should be taught and encouraged to ask for help. A collaboration of this kind can enhance the bonding between you and your child and also raise the performance of your child.

This is true, even after they grow up, get employed, get married, and have their own children. The need and opportunity to help your child never ceases.

Think about it? When was the last time you reached out to your child to help?

Stop everything and do it after you read this post. You may be surprised at the outcome.

Do share your experience in the comments to this post.

Do you teach your children to detect dishonesty and deceat?

As you teach children to be honest and have integrity, it is also important for you to teach them the absence of it.

It is important that they learn to detect dishonesty when they come across. This will protect them from being deceived.

This is an important skill many parents forget to teach their children. A good way to teach is to discuss real-life examples.
When you buy expensive stuff for your children, you also need to teach them how to keep them safe.

All these efforts will hopefully protect them from others deceit and dishonesty.

What is your experience? Do share it in your comments.

Do you leave your day to chance?


How do you spend your time? Are you preoccupied with activities defined by yourself or have others defined them for you or have they been chosen by chance?
What is the right mix of activities?
It is important to adjust these levers of activities. The adjustment will depend on your circumstances and your current situation. Invariably, people forget to include activities which have been defined by themselves. They just react to chance or the demands of others.

You need to determine the right mix for you. You need to take charge of these three levers.

Try this out. Check which lever is high! You may need to readjust those levers.

Do share your experience in your comments on this post.

How much time do you take from idea to action?

All of us have ideas. Some of us have brilliant ideas. We also get ideas from others or by reading a book or watching a movie; Sources of ideas are plenty.

However, it is not the number of ideas you have that matters, it is the number of ideas you action out that will make the difference for you.

The time taken from an idea to action depends on the nature of the idea and the situation/context in which you operate. Hence, every idea has its optimum starting point and its own optimum speed of action.

Determining the optimum starting point, the speed of action and the deadline for completion is a task of utmost importance.

The time for such analysis and the treatment of the idea should be any where between zero to not more than 24 hours; Depending on the situation and context you are operating in and the nature of the idea.

Any idea delayed after 24 hours has the danger of being forgotten.

How you treat ideas will determine whether you are an "also ran" or an "Olympic Champion".

Think about it! Do share your comments.

How do you handle clutter? - 2



How do you ensure an item in your house does not get lost? It is important to follow the principles of organizing. Let me introduce you to an important principle of organizing

The principle of inherent potential of an article/item to get lost:

Every article/item has an inherent nature to be high or low in its potential to get lost.

Hence our care for ensuring the article/item to be easily accessible increases as the potential of the article/item to get lost increases. This may appear as common sense but you may be surprised how many people violate this basic principle.
Here is another principle for you.

The principle of inherent current/future value of an article/item

Every article/item has an inherent value-current or future which may range from low to high.

Please refer to the previous post "How do you handle clutter? - 1" for further details on value.
If you want to ensure that your house is clutter free and also you are able to get the articles/items immediately when you want them, you will have to consider these two principles and work with them.
Look at the figure to understand how to apply these principles.
When you get an article, you need to immediately determine its value. Which category does it belong?
  1. Expensive

  2. Daily usage value

  3. Nostalgic value

  4. Contextual value

  5. No value

If it is of no value then throw it out immediately. If the article is of value to you then you need to assess whether it has a high potential to get lost and hence the care for making it accessible is high.

Low care, Low value -You will come across articles of Low care, Low value - these are junk to be thrown away. Example: A rusted bicycle in your garage - Low care because it is there and it is unlikely to get lost. Low value because it is useless now and you have no emotional ties with it.

Low care, High value - these articles are precious to you however you need not put in too much effort to make it accessible as it is already accessible to you. Example: Painting on the wall-low care as it will not get lost and high value because it is expensive and it was gifted to you by your father.

High care, Low value - This is an article that has high potential to get lost, hence you need to take a lot of care to make it accessible. however, this article is of low value to you personally. Example - your friend requests you to safe guard her jewellery while she is traveling to China.

High care, High value - All the stuff that are highly valuable to you and has a high potential to be misplaced. Example - your certificates, your camera, your watches, your documents and important papers, ---

Evaluating the articles/items that pass through your hand and taking appropriate care to make it accessible is an important action that needs to be taken to live a stress free and productive life.

Do share your experience in using these principles by commenting on this post.

How do you handle clutter? - 1


Handling clutter is an important skill to master. Clutter comes in the way of everything you do; Time, energy, money, and opportunity can get lost in a clutter.

I have created a process flow to handle clutter. The diagram is self explanatory, once you understand the definitions of the various terms used.

Definitions:

Clutter: Anything that can get deposited all over your house.

Loose items: These are items that can be moved from one place to another-Example: Paper, pens, books, magazines, jewellery, watches, photographs, wires, stationary items, toothbrush, toothpaste, shampoo bottles, nail cutter---. These items can, easily, get lost.

Fixed items: These are relatively fixed items in your house-Example: Tables, Chairs, Sofa, Beds, Paintings on the wall, TV, Refrigerator, ---. These items cannot get lost but still may cause clutter.

Value: An item is said to be valuable if it belongs to the following categories:

  1. Expensive items: These are your watches, jewellery, chinaware, diamonds, Nikon D 80 Digital SLR camera, Camcorder, ---. They cost money and are precious to you.


  2. Daily usage items: These are items you cannot do without, day in day out. You need to have them near to be functional-Toothbrush, toothpaste, pens, laptops, shirts, trousers, ties, watches, ---


  3. Nostalgic items: These are items that are very precious to you, as they evoke pleasant memories of the past. You want to preserve them carefully-Your father's letters, the sweater your mother knitted for you, photographs, the greeting cards, your wife gave you over the years, your daughter's little gifts to you, since her childhood---.


  4. Contextual items: These are items that you need on a daily basis or at least on an immediate basis depending on the changing situations you encounter-Winter clothes, snow boots, your certificates, party wear, ---. You don't need these on a daily basis but you would like to have them, instantly, if you suddenly need them when the context and situation dictates that you need them.

Now you are ready to study the process flow and understand it.


It is very useful to apply this process flow and classify your items; You can, then, begin to organize them.


Those that you require daily need to be stored in an area that is near, easily accessible and is constantly known to you. Each item need to have a specific home to "stay put" in.


Those that you do not need on a regular, daily basis need to have a remote, accessible, known, home to be in.


The junk, of course, need to be thrown away.


The horror of clutter unfolds when all these value category items get mixed and spread all over your house along with the junk that get intermingled to create the confusion and distress.


Stay tuned for further posts on the principles of organizing to live a clutter free life.

What is the root cause of your disorganization?


We are disorganized as a family. Our house is full of clutter. All of us attributed this disorganized state of our home to some deep seated disorder in our personalities; Perhaps we inherited some faulty "disorganizing DNA" from our ancestors.

Our belief grew over the period of years until few months back when we decided to sit down and examine this "we are disorganized" belief. After several discussions and analysis we came to a conclusion that the major cause for our disorganization is lack of storage devices.

Please find below the reasons for us being disorganized.
  1. Our strong held belief that we are disorganized

  2. Plenty of ever increasing number of loose items such as books, clothes, paper and other stuff we shop and accumulate

  3. Very poor storage devices in our house for these loose items

  4. Our indecision to buy storage equipments

This led us to a vicious cycle as depicted in the picture.

Last week, we bought three book racks. We decided to focus on books as they are the major ones that are causing all the clutter in our house. The book racks had a near magical effect on our clutter. A large part of it vanished as our books got neatly organized in our book racks.

Our house now looks less cluttered. We also bought an extra storage Almira for our clothes which further reduced our clutter.

We still have to work on other areas such as papers, DVDs etc. which we have decided to tackle in the coming weeks.

The learning from this experience was profound for me. Many a times we conclude that we have a personality defect like disorganization and use that as an excuse to do nothing. What I realized is that invariably the major part of the problem could lie outside us rather than inside us.

It is important to elicit both internal and external causes of the problem. It is far easier to tackle the external cause of the problem (example:buying a book rack) rather than trying to change an internal personality trait that may not be the primary root cause of the problem.

The questions you need to ask yourself constantly are:


  1. Have I identified the internal and the external causes of the problem?

  2. Have I tackled the external causes first?

  3. What is the effect of tackling the external causes?

  4. Is there any internal cause to tackle or was my belief that there is such an internal cause wrong?

Try this approach and do give me a feedback through your comments.

Have you tried doing things for fun which you have never done before?

Many of us get stuck in a routine, even for activities that give us joy. We may continue to go for movies, read the same kind of books, visit the same friends, go to the same mall for shopping---
Unless we consciously take stock and break out of the routine, we will miss out on various other ways to enjoy.

Here are the steps you need to take to break out of your routine and have fun in new ways:
  1. Take a blank sheet of paper
  2. Suspend judgement for about 5 minutes (you are going to think creatively for the next 5 minutes).
  3. Generate ideas to have fun. Write whatever comes to your mind. Do not judge. The crazier your ideas are, the better they are. Sometimes you may be writing the ones you are already doing; No problem, just acknowledge and continue. Write non-stop for 5 minutes.
  4. You can, now, begin to judge those ideas. Cross out anything that is harmful, illegal, immoral, and impossible.
  5. Now you have a list of things to do that are clean fun
  6. Segregate the ideas that you can attempt immediately. Save the rest for the future (Example-you may want to visit Paris but you have to first save money for such a trip)
  7. Select an idea that appeals to you most and is feasible for you to do this coming weekend or alternatively, select the idea that least appeals to you ( you may be pleasantly surprised at the outcome)
  8. Develop an action plan to do it
  9. Do it
  10. Enjoy

Do share your experience in the comments, because you are going to have the time of your life!

Do you raise your bar periodically?

How about taking everything you do to the next level? How about doing this periodically?

Many of us never raise the bar. We have this habit of quickly being satisfied with our level of achievement in the various things we do. We will either continue to maintain it at the current level of excellence or mediocrity or become complacent enough to let our level slide down.

We need to challenge ourselves by shifting and raising the bar of achievement on preselect areas in our lives.

Here are the steps to do exactly that:
  1. Identify areas in your life you want to focus upon. Strive for balance by choosing from several areas-Physical, Health, Financial, Professional,---
  2. Determine your next level goals in the areas you have chosen
  3. Develop an action plan to achieve them
  4. Periodically review and monitor progress

Once you have achieved the next level in one area choose another area to work upon.

Try it and share your experience by posting a comment.

Do you care enough for people that you take care to remember them?

I have this tendency to forget names. I rarely do forget faces. This is very dysfunctional and I am taking steps to counter it.
How do you ensure that you remember people and their faces? I think we need to go even beyond that.
Here are the steps:
  1. Consciously study the face so that you remember it next time
  2. Repeatedly connect the name to the face. You could use mnemonics if you want to
  3. Enquire and remember what they do in life
  4. Remember the conversation you are having with them
  5. Take their visiting card and study it to connect to the person you are talking to

Let's say you meet him after three months and your conversation goes like this:

You: "Hi! Bob, How are you today?"

Bob: "Fine."

You: "How is your work going on in ---?"

Bob: "Oh! we made great progress ---. This is what we achieved ---."

You : "Great Bob!. Last time you had discussed with me about your trip to Hawaii. How was your trip---?"

Bob: "Wow! that was fun ---"

Just imagine the impact you will have on people if you remember to the above detail. They will look at you differently.

While it is important to record the data of people in your Palm or which ever PDA or low tech device you use, it is more important to register and record them in your mind.

Stay tuned for future posts on how to accomplish this.

Think about it. How much do you remember about people you meet.?

Think about the last person you met for the first time.

How much do you remember about her?

Do you know what to talk about yourself?--2

Here is an exercise for you:
  1. Refer to the post - Do you know what to talk about yourself?---1
  2. Craft a message about yourself
  3. Practice introducing yourself while talking into an audio recorder
  4. Listen to yourself. How do you sound? What are the gaps in the content? Did you forget to mention an important fact about yourself? Did you forget to talk about an important achievement?
  5. Fill the gaps and practice again while recording your talk
  6. Finalize the version of your talk
  7. Practice! Practice! Practice!

When you do this exercise two things will happen immediately:

  1. You will develop confidence in presenting yourself
  2. You may discover gaps in your achievement which if you could have achieved would have given a powerful impact and face lift to your image; Such an achievement will elicit a 'WOW!' response from your listener.

The good news is that you can work towards that achievement. The missing achievement can become a goal you will strive for and very soon you will be able to add it to your self-introduction.

This exercise can change the course of your life!

Try it and do share your experience in the comments.

Do you know what to talk about yourself?---1

Let's say you have to introduce yourself to others. They are important people and you will need their support in future. How do you go about talking about yourself? Do you just start off? What you say will have tremendous bearing on how they will perceive you.

It is important to be able to talk about yourself in a manner that is impressive and do all the talking in just 3 minutes.
Here are some important points you need to cover:
  1. Your background
  2. Your achievement
  3. How you can be of benefit to the person you are talking to?

Your introduction should result in the other person realizing that you are an important person who can contribute in achieving his goals.

It is important to craft your message with a lot of thought. Your message should be crisp, to the point, and must strike a chord in the heart of the listener.

Stay tuned for further posts on how to craft the message about yourself.

Think about it! How do you talk about yourself?

Who is calling the shots in your life?

I have seen many people abdicate calling the shots in their lives. It is important to take stock. I believe no one has the right to call your shots. Many people allow their bosses, subordinates, peers and their customers to call the shots.

If it is anyone other than you who is calling the shots in your life, then it is important to change that situation.

Do you recognize the phenomenon of the "deception of simplicity"?

The phenomenon of the "deception of simplicity" is one of the most dangerous phenomenon you ever can encounter. Let me explain:

Many things appear very simple to deal with until you begin to actually start doing them.

Based on this phenomenon we decide a timeline to complete the task which is way out of the base. Hence, the maximum damage it can cause is total failure at its high end effect and at its low end effect, it could cause all kinds irritation and mess.

How does this phenomenon of the deception of simplicity wayward us?
It does so through the following steps which we need to be aware
There is a task in front of you
  1. The deception makes you think it is simple
  2. You determine that it will take only about 15 minutes or what ever time in your mind that represents short and simple, to complete it
  3. You procrastinate till the last day (task has a deadline)
  4. You allocate 15 minutes in the evening to complete it
  5. You start the task and suddenly realize to your horror that it needs all kinds of inputs which will require at least a week's preparation
  6. You miss the deadline and will have to face all the consequences that go along with such missing of the deadline

The only way to avoid the deception is to face the reality. Study the task clearly to its full detail and stay clear of the deception.

Give yourself sufficient time to complete the task with a stamp of your excellence.

When was the last time you got caught in the deception of simplicity?