How to mess up consistently and completly?

The best way to mess up is not to pay attention. Stop tracking things.

Let me give you a nice list to start with:

• Your money in the bank
• Your expenses
• Your credit card spending
• Your weight
• Your friends
• Your family
• Your children
• Your parents
• Your boss
• Your resume
• Your health
• Your spiritual connection
• Your house
• Your commitments

The list can go on and on.

How many of the items in the list are you not keeping track? Are you messing up sufficiently?

Alas for many of us, we are good at messing up and would have said "yes" to most of the items on the list; And what is more alarming is that the list up there is incomplete.

Take an inventory, before it is too late.

Threshold of tolerance for change

Different people have different thresholds of tolerance before they will change.

When I mean change, I mean personal change. Given below are few examples of such change (things you need to change before it becomes a disaster):

• Smoking
• Clutter
• Overweight
• Selfishness
• Laziness
• Loneliness

The list can go on. Any person at any given point of time will be having a cluster of these personal change elements or shall I say ailments which he or she needs to change. Most of the people do not take action until a disaster strikes. Their threshold of tolerance for the dysfunctional elements in their lives are high.

Look at your own life and make a list of these elements that are causing you to be ineffective.

Now ask yourself this question:

Am I going to wait for a disaster to force me into crossing the threshold to change?

Lowering your threshold of tolerance for these dysfunctional elements will be the best road to a fulfilled life.

Think about it!

If only we could edit our lives---

Last week I spent some time reflecting. I rewound the tape in my mind and played it from the first event I could recall. I did this slowly, pausing the tape once in a while to learn something important.

There were many things I had excelled in. There were many good moments and good decisions. There were also moments that should never have happened, but alas, they happened. There were times when I failed. for example the first promotion I did not get. I lost it to a colleague who in my opinion was less qualified. I felt ashamed and at that moment I felt I was a complete failure.

Now looking back, I thank God I did not get that promotion. My life would have taken a different course and arrived at a destination far different from what I am enjoying now.

I also remembered the times people hurt me. I forgave all of them. What is more important for me is the realization that those very experiences were responsible for all my learning and hence responsible for all the good and strong relationships I am having now.

This whole reflection filled me with gratitude, both for the good things that happened to me and also for the bad ones.

The only thing I would have wished to be changed was the loss of loved ones. I will continue to miss them. Other than this and some stupid mistakes that originated from me, I would not edit anything else.

What about you? What, in your past life, would you want to edit? Try this reflection exercise, it may shift a few vital paradigms in you.
All the best!

"You" in the mirror---

We were running a residential Leadership Seminar. My co-facilitator told me that he saw his reflection almost everywhere; the building was filled with glass panes and mirrors. He didn't like what he saw. It was, then, I looked at myself. I didn't like what I saw, either. Over the period of years, I have allowed myself to become unfit.

When was the last time you had a hard look at yourself in the mirror? Try it out! It can be an eye opening experience.

As I sat thinking about it, it dawned on me that I had reached this state through a series of day-in day-out decisions.

You could take this experiment further and look at your inner self in the mirror of your mind. This a more difficult exercise. If you really look hard, then you may end up asking your self-"What have I become?"

The principle of the "gentle push"

Most of the stuff we procrastinate need only a gentle push towards it. I recently experienced this. I procrastinated doing something for a year, and finally did it; and all it needed was a gentle, baby step- a gentle push.
Try this:
Make a list of stuff you are procrastinating
Scan the list for the stuff that qualifies for the principle of "gentle push"
Determine what do you need to do that will require a gentle push towards
completing the task
Determine you will try to give yourself a gentle push and will continue the activity only if a tip over takes place
Continue the activity to completion

You will be surprised to find 80% of the items you have listed fit into the gentle push category.
Rapidly finish them and feel productive!

How do you handle violence in you?

Something goes wrong or someone does something that makes your blood boil. What do you do? Especially, when you are getting violent urges to lash out, if not physically, but verbally, it is time to pause, take a deep breath, decide to deal with it in an appropriate manner.

Whenever, I have let my anger loose, I have regretted it later. More harm is done on yourself than the recipient of your anger.

A good exercise for you tonight is to go back in time, all the way to your childhood, and dwell on each of the angry outbursts you have had. How do you feel about them now?

DO try it out! It will change your perspective about anger!
It will also give you the power to choose an appropriate response!

Life's milestones---"30"---"40"---"50"---

Recently, I heard a few of my classmates debate as to what it is to turn "50 years of age".

What do you think when you reach such milestones?

Turning 50 years of age means to me that life starts afresh with a major advantage. The advantage is that you have now the accumulated wisdom (your learning from successes and failures and other experiences). You can either use this great resource to your advantage or let it go to waste. The choice is yours!

How about putting all your learning to practice? You will find a force that will push you to your next level of achievement. You may be surprised at the level of achievement you reach.

Think about it!
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After a long break---

I stopped posting for a while and took a break. I have been travelling, mostly, in the US. I think it is time now to start documenting my learning again. Please stay tuned.

What can you do when the world economy is slowing down?--- BUILD RESILIENCE!!!

I can see the markets slowing down, banks collapsing, people going berserk with fear. Perhaps nobody anticipated this crisis; The ones who saw it coming may have buried their heads in denial.

Looking at the current situations here are few things we need to do to build resilience:

• Spend wisely-It is very easy to waste money
• Seal the cracks through which you are losing money-late credit card payments, delayed bills, wasteful ways with electricity, water,---
• Have a vocation 1 & a vocation 2 and develop alternative sources of income
• Become entrepreneurial rather than just an employee
• Develop a family vision for handling finance
• Explore various ways of investing
• Develop your knowledge and skills and enhance your earning capacity
• Spend time with your family and build a strong fortress of support in terms of relationships
• Network as never before-the more the friends you have the more the support system
• Get into the habit of helping others-make the law of reciprocity work for you
• Exercise and keep yourself healthy and encourage your family to adopt healthy life styles
• Get serious about spiritual pursuits-there is a lot more to life than just money and materialistic wins
• Have planned entertainment
• Learn and practice Yoga-meditation

All these activities will increase your resilience in these turbulent times.

Helping yourself to be resilient while helping others to be resilient is the best vaccination against the ills the current world trends will expose you to. 

People need to be together and help each other more than any other time in the recent past.

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Been away on a business trip followed by vacation

I did not post all these days. I got tied with other activities of life. I am back now and will post daily.

How balanced are you?

Many of us live extreme lives. We either skew towards being flaky, fun loving, pleasure seeking, individuals or skew in the opposite direction, organized, serious, disciplined, fun avoiding or postponing individuals.

I think both these positions are wrong and will have its serious consequences. The key way here is to be serious and fun loving. We need to strive for balance. Here are few tips of how to do exactly that:

• Monitor your self
• Schedule the opposite-If you have serious pursuits, add fun pursuits and vice a verse
• Block serious work time
• Block fun time
• Mix with children
• Mix with serious business people or your professional group
• Schedule "let go" weekends and controlled weekdays
• Schedule "serious weekends" and "let go" week days
• Be flexible at times based on the situation
• Be rigid at times based on the situation

Try these out! Live a full Life.

Do leave your comments here.

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How many goals behind are you?

I hope you have the habit of setting goals. I have been setting goals all my life. I have achieved many of them or most of them. I am sure you would have too.

What is important for us to check, periodically, is whether we are continuing to set goals and and continuing to achieve, as many, of them as possible.

The greatest danger you and I face is the tendency to become complacent. When we achieve one goal or some goals, we think we have arrived; suddenly, after losing a lot of time we realize that we have fallen back and there are many goals, staring at our face, still to be achieved; The more we have them, the more overwhelmed, we feel.

It is difficult to start again because we have fallen into inertia and we are also confused where to begin.

The solution to this problem is to keep track of the goals constantly, review periodically, and act to achieve the goals in a timely manner;This way we will live a fuller life.

What do you think? Do leave your comments here.

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Have you started a reversal program?

Some things deteriorate. This happens despite us taking steps to prevent it. This is more so true in the current age in which we are living in.

We are pressured, as never before, from all sides. It takes in and saps our energy leaving us exhausted. One terrible day we suddenly realize the extent of deterioration that has happened.

For example;

• Soured relationship
• Wayward children
• Dwindling finance
• Being stuck in a career
• Lack of friends
• Weight problem
• High blood pressure

The list can go on.

What I am going to suggest may be one of the most important things you have ever read.

Suggestion:

1. Take stock
2. List the things that have gone wrong
3. Segregate the things you can still take action upon
4. Prioritize that list
5. Start acting
6. Reverse the negative trend
7. Install a positive trend
8. Enjoy

Example:

• Overweight
• Not spending time with the family
• Low bank balance
• No friends
• Debt
• Poor relationship with your children

Take action while you still have time!

What do you think. Do leave your comment here.

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Do you lose your cool easily?

All of us can easily get through the day when things are going normally. The test of our mettle is when you get stressed up with all kinds of demands.

If you are having a rough day and you suddenly get a call that is irritating, as the person talking to you is arrogant and not listening to you or not willing to answer your questions, what do you do?

There is a great temptation to dump all the frustration on this one individual and give him your piece of mind. You may even feel good after such a conversation. However, the after effects of such an interaction can harm you more than anybody else. Your blood pressure may hit the roof, you get moody, and your anger may continue for another couple of hours.
How can you avoid this?
Here are a few tips:

• Relax consciously during the day
• Be aware of your emotions
• Constantly remind yourself that you could loose control of your temper
• Be aware of the affect others are having on you
• Postpone talking if you find yourself getting worked up

It is better to not have a conversation with an individual than to loose cool and destroy the relationship. Even if you want to persuade the person to your direction or cause, the time to have that conversation is when you are cool.

What do you think? Do leave your comments here

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Garlic bread and thin crust pizza incident

Last Saturday we ordered thin crust pizzas and garlic breads from a reputed pizza restaurant near our home.

The pizzas & garlic breads came on time, while they forgot to give us the dip we ordered along with the garlic bread.


We called them and they said that it will be at our door step in 5 minutes. After an hour and two further reminders, I thought it is about time to set this situation right.

I called them up and gave them critique which finally resulted in they sending us the dip and refunding us money ( a 30% discount for the inconvenience caused). Why did this conversation yield success. I am giving below the factors that lead to the success:

1. Carefully planned conversation
2. Clear explanation of the situation
3. Eliciting metaphorically the difference between the Pizza Restaurant & a Street vendor
4. Linking what has happened to their values and showing them the in congruence
5. Telling them of the consequences of not responding to me based on their own values
6. Telling them what the same Pizza restaurant would have done in other countries
7. Asking them how the will solve my problem
8. Negotiating on the final outcome

They quickly agreed step by step to comply to, not just my wishes, but their own dear held values.

Have you had a similar experience? DO share it here in your comments.

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How do you attain a procrastiantion free life?

I think we need to start small. How about a procrastination free day?

These are the steps I would recommend:

1. Define procrastination
2. Define specific tasks for the day related to goals you want to achieve
3. Set specific rules to distinguish between delaying a task because of prioritization and delaying a task because of procrastination
4. Choose your first procrastination free day
5. Live that day
6. Celebrate
7. Choose either to maintain a one day target or increase it if you feel confident

Starting small is the key to such a life.

What do you think?

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Do you collect the information you need?

We are constantly bombarded by information. They come from everywhere and hit us from all directions. The more information you get, the more you get used to reacting to it.


It is so easy, in this information age, to get so used to getting information without any efforts on our part that we begin to develop this dangerous habit of waiting for information to come on its own. Many a times we forget to seek information when we actually need to do so.

The only way to combat this habit is to ask this very important question frequently:

Do I need more information?

Seek information and you will be surprised at the impact it has on your decisions and your productivity.

What do you think? Do share your comments here.

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How does environment affect you?

I was waiting for my wife and daughter to finish their shopping at an international beauty shop. I couldn't help overhearing the sales girl in the shop explaining how environment-sunlight, pollution, dust, etc affects the skin. She suggested specific creams and lotions to apply daily.

This set me thinking. What about the affects of the environment on your inner self? World is full of pollution, obscene pictures, vulgar music, dishonest people---. The negative list can go on and on. You are surrounded by powerful media that influence you in a negative way; Without even knowing, you are affected, by all this bombardment of negative messages.

Just like your skin needs cleansing and application of creams to keep it glowing and healthy, your inner self needs cleansing too.

How can you cleanse your inner self?

• Read wholesome books that inspire
• Listen to inspiring music
• Go to inspiring movies
• Meditate
• Mix with friends who have principled values
• Filter out all the negative as much as possible

You can never be too careful in keeping your inner self glowing and healthy. It is as important as buying beauty creams from a beauty shop.

What do you think?

Do leave your comments here

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Do you prioritize your day's experience?

Let's go back in time to the year 1970. The number of options for you to fill your day was very limited.

Look at the picture depicting the options you had in the 70s':

• Movies


• TV (depending on where you lived)


• Radio


• Theatre


• Sports


• Music


• Hobbies


• Work


• Mail


• Books

I have not listed all of them. I am sure there could be more to add.

Look at the picture depicting today:

• TV


• Internet


• Blogs


• Social networking


• Wikis


• Groups


• MMRPOG


• email


• Video games


• Theatre


• Cell phone


• ipod


• Movies


• Movies at home through DVD/HD


• Sports


• Hobbies


• Books


• ebooks

The list can go on and on. The point I am making is that today we have much more options in front of us and that can be overwhelming. Moreover, unless we choose carefully, we may end up wasting time in activities that may not be yielding fully to our well being and happiness.

We need to take charge of the experiences we can have day to day by prioritizing and developing a hierarchy of fun and valuable things to do.

Think about it next time you reach for the remote to watch TV. Do you have better options? Are you stuck in one way of entertaining yourself? Are you stuck in one or few ways of networking? Are you stuck with one way of getting information or knowledge?

Think hard and act now! It will spell the difference between having a wholesome life in contrast with a boring, routine filled life?

What do you think?

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Do you program yourself with the word "if"?

I have heard a lot of "ifs" in my life. In fact I have myself used this word again and again until I realized its destructive power.

If I get good marks, I will join the best college.
If I achieve my target, I will get a lot of incentive
If my business is successful, I will earn my first million dollars
The list can go on and on---

If is very destructive. You are programming yourself for failure because there is an element of doubt in it. You need to substitute "if" with "when".

When I get good marks, I will join the best college
When I achieve my target, I will get a lot of incentives
When my business is successful, I will earn my first million dollars

Not only do we program ourselves with "if" we also use this word extensively with others too. We need to be careful so that we are not programmed by others through the use of the word"if".

Remember IF= doubt. WHEN=certainty

Always use "when"!

What do you think? Do leave your comments here.

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