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How do you handle conflict?

Conflicts are inevitable in our daily lives. How many of us realize that our quality of life depends on the way we handle conflicts. There are many ways people handle conflict;

The common mistakes I observe, day in day out, are:
  1. Do nothing-allow conflicts to pile up one above the other
  2. Wait for the "last straw on the camel's back" and explode
  3. Withdraw completely and give the silent treatment to the other person
  4. Be unreasonable and unwilling to listen to the other's view point
  5. Play the blame game
  6. Crush and suppress the other person because you are taller or stronger or elder or you have some kind of authority on him/her
  7. Say mean and hurtful things which you actually don't mean
  8. Bottle up your hurt for hours, days, weeks, months, years or the entire lifetime
  9. Not make the first move to resolve the conflict and wait for the other person to take the initiative
  10. Show your anger on someone else
  11. Try to solve the conflict in the heat of the moment, instead of waiting for more saner times
  12. Labeling each other in a hurtful manner
It is important to handle conflict and resolve it at the earliest. Ability to bring the conflict out in the open, listen to each other deeply, with respect, acknowledge the mistakes on both sides, apologize and be willing to forget and forgive is crucial to having a good quality of life.

In case you are making any of the mistakes mentioned above, it is time to stop them now.

Invariably, your willingness to make the first move to reach out and resolve the conflict will be your first step towards resolving it.

Do you have someone with whom you have had a major conflict? Make that first move, be patient and invest in the process of conflict resolution, and try your best to resolve it.

You may be surprised by the results because in many cases the conflict may get resolved much quicker than you think.

Buy this book by Tim Ursiny and you will be able to handle conflict bravely. Here is the link to the book!
The Coward's Guide to Conflict: Empowering Solutions for Those Who Would Rather Run Than Fight

2 comments:

Hye said...

Hello... you are right about conflicts and I agree with the thing about "work out conflicts at the earliest" because if you delay it, it will just become worse.

thanks for sharing your wonderful thoughts :D

Hye

Ronnie Ferez said...

Conflicts can easily be resolved if one or both parties are aware where they are coming from. Am talking here of cultural context. In the west, the best approach is face it head on with frankness, and sometimes sarcasm. In the east, it is more of giving-in for awhile until things cool-off then you confront the issue.

In an organization or corporate setting, it is also a different approach. Okey, that would be another point. I think, I better post an entry about it huh?