I can list a few of them here:
- Good listener
We can keep adding to this list. These universal prerequisites operate in all the cultures. You need to have these prerequisites before you can be successful in winning and keeping friends for life.
Now compare this list with an another list:
- Having common interests; I love photography so do you.
- Wearing similar trendy clothes and fashionable dress; We like and wear fashionable and trendy clothes.
- Having a status; My family is famous so is yours.
- Being wealthy; I am rich so are you.
- Being beautiful; I am beautiful so are you.
- Having a common background; I am a geologist so are you.
- Having a common educational background; I am a MBA so are you.
- Belonging to the same hierarchy level; I am a CEO so are you.
- Having a common language; I speak Hindi so do you.
It is my experience that people give more importance to the second list rather than the first one. We quickly classify people using the second list and give our verdict: He is not fit to be our friend;She is fit to be our friend.
Invariably, friendship based on the second list will cause us trouble and give us heartbreaks. It will also prevent us from having true friends because we brush aside people based on a superficial scan.
Be careful of the criteria you use for friendship. Just because you cannot find a common ground immediately with a person does not mean that person cannot be your friend. You can always find a common ground together, later.
This is true in friendship, as well as in marriage. What is required is to get the basic DNA in us right.
Our DNA strands need to be composed of the first list.
What about you? What kind of DNA strand do you possess?